A new attitude emerges...

Maddox has recently developed a little bit of an attitude.  It really isn't that bad but because he has always been easygoing and passive, it has taken me by surprise and I'm not handling it very well.  His attitude consists of telling me to "stop" or saying "no" to me, hitting me, being disobedient and defiant, running away from me when he is in trouble and taking things away from me and away from Jackie.  Overall, Maddox is still a very sweet, loving and affectionate boy.  He has good days and bad days and so do I.  We are learning how to live with one another as he develops into his own independent self.  Usually, I just put him in a time out or in his bedroom.  That does the job but there have been days where he gets 10 time outs and I get so worn out and lose my patience.  I have to admit that I have definitely lost my temper with him and yelled at him and grabbed him on the arm probably a little too hard.  I always feel so so bad afterwards and say sorry and hug and kiss him and we snuggle.  But I know that doesn't make it right or make it okay.  I'm working on not losing my temper and trying to be more patient but it may be a lifelong struggle for me.  Maddox loves swimming, baths and showers and pretty much anything where he can play with water.  He is still very tan and has beautiful skin.  We are growing his hair out again so he's once again in the mullet phase.  Poor guy.  But he really is beautiful.  He still is a very picky eater but I have adopted the motto, "You don't have to eat it."  This really has made my life less stressful and hopefully, has made Maddox's experience with eating and food more positive.  I buy somewhat healthy snacks and he has his own shelf in the pantry.  He can choose any of those foods whenever he is hungry.  I feed him oatmeal or cereal for breakfast and then he usually snacks until dinner.  At dinner, I give him a choice of a hot dog, mac n cheese, pancakes, or a quesadilla.  If he doesn't want any of those things, then I don't make him anything and he can fend for himself.  He only drinks orange juice and chocolate milk and occasionally water.  He loves Taco Bell hot sauce, pop tarts, peanuts, and cereal.  Maddox has started speech therapy and has been improving a ton with his speaking just in the last couple of months.  It happened very quickly and he finally figured out that talking is easier than making monkey noises and pointing.  He is obsessed with TV and his Ipad.  We have been working on that slowly.  Maddox still takes an afternoon nap most days but it's getting later and I'm not sure it will last much longer.  He loves to snuggle still which I am so happy about.  He comes into my bed in the mornings and we snuggle while we wake up and then he snuggles me after his nap.  He is very affectionate with Jackie and loves wrestling with him and hugging him and tickling him.  They get along so well and Maddox is so good with him.  Maddox doesn't like to share but he is doing better every day.  Maddox still sleeps on his floor every night and has a collection of toys, stuffed animals and books that he arranges around him every night.  I've given up on that battle of making him sleep in a bed and it has been very freeing.  Overall, Maddox is a healthy, energetic, loving, good boy.  I am so proud of him and who he is becoming.  He is so patient and forgiving with  me.  He is my best friend and I spend every day all day with him.  He sees all of my weaknesses and mistakes and he still loves me.  I couldn't ask for a more perfect little partner.

Sleep Training = Crazy Pills

Jaxon will be 10 months tomorrow... where has the time gone?  My tiny baby is no longer tiny.  Jackie crawls around everywhere, pulls himself up, climbs and walks along the couch.  He has become very independent.  He loves swimming, taking baths, and playing outside.  He loves playing with his brother and thinks Maddox is absolutely hilarious.  But more than anything, Jaxon loves and is completely obsessed with food.  Every time any one of us has food, Jackie screams and screeches at the top of his lungs until we give him a bite.  When he wants another bite, the whole neighborhood knows about it and we just can't seem to shovel the food in fast enough.  He is so vocal and has quite the temper. The last month I have been working on sleep training him and have realized just how deep his stubbornness runs.  Jaxon hates his crib.  He will sleep next to me on the couch, he will sleep next to me in my bed and he will even sleep in his bouncer in the family room.  But he will not sleep in his crib unless I wear him out which takes 1 to 2 hours and even then, the first time he wakes up, he immediately cries and stands up and will not go back to sleep.  To this day, he has not fallen asleep on his own in his crib.  So every night I nurse him to sleep in my bed and then carefully try to transfer him into the crib.  I have about a 70% success rate.  Then about 1 hour later, Jaxon wakes up screaming.  So I rock him to sleep and carefully place him in his crib.  Immediately, he wakes up and screams and I walk out and let him cry for about 10 minutes.  Then I go back in and start the process over again.  These intervals of rocking, transferring, crying last about an hour until he gets so tired that he gives up the fight and lets himself sleep in the crib.  After 2 to 4 hours which is now in the middle of the night, he wakes up angry that he is in his crib and cries until I either rock him again or let him into my bed.  I usually let him into my bed.  It's such a hard process.  In Jaxon's mind, I should lay down with him in my bed and nurse him all night every night. I hate sleep training and if it were up to me, I would let me babies sleep with me forever.  But Allan had had enough and I could tell it was time for us to have our bed back.  Plus, once Jackie could crawl, I couldn't leave him in my bed alone because he would crawl right off.  It is very nice having that one hour to ourselves with the kids asleep and in bed.  So that's my struggle right now- sleep training.  Jackie is very healthy and still in the 65th percentile in height and weight like he has been his whole life.  However, he has a huge head and is in the 85th percentile in head circumference.  He has horrible baby eczema and dry patchy red rashes on his arms, nipples, stomach, shoulders and back.  He also still has cradle cap even though I've scratched most of his oily scabs off of his scalp.  He got his two bottom teeth finally!  And just the other day, his top tooth cut through.  Nursing has not been fun since he got that top one.  Jaxon has been doing things that show me he knows what's going on.  He has been practicing waving recently and loves to dance.  Whenever music comes on, he starts rocking back and forth if he's sitting or he'll bounce if he's standing.  He also like to try and put clothes on by putting them on his head and pulling down.  Jaxon is also still incredibly ticklish and if anybody touches him on his neck or chest or thighs he giggles and laughs uncontrollably.  Jackie has the quickest hands especially when it comes to food.  He loves food and is always trying to grab people's plates and get his hands on anything edible.  He loves typing on the keyboard of the computer and loves hitting Maddox's ipad screen.  Jaxon is such a good boy and loves playing with toys and reading books.  Most of the time, he is happy, giggly, and playful.  But he can go quickly to his only other state- crying, screaming, screeching and whining.  He pretty much has two moods and there's not a whole lot in between.  I'm glad that he is so expressive and I have never wondered what or how he is really feeling.  I am grateful that he feels comfortable enough to know that I will try my best to meet his every need.  And I'm so grateful that he loves me so much and wants to be touched and loved by me and only me.  Jackie is our baby and he brings us so much joy.  He is the life of our party most of the time and usually the center of everyone's attention.