I thought I knew what to expect and how I would feel upon having my second child. After all, I had done this once before. I was experienced. However, Jaxon decided to surprise me in more ways than one. Jaxon was born at 5:56 PM via c-section. His birth had been delayed on more than one occasion and the surgery proved to be longer than anticipated. After 26 minutes of pulling, tugging, a lot of pressure and pain, Jax finally made his appearance. Right before he was born, I felt the most intense pain I had ever felt in my life and the moment he was born, I felt the most relief I had ever felt in my life. After the doctors pulled him out, immediately, they lifted him above the curtain. While in that moment of sweet relief, I saw my son for the first time. The tears came pouring out of my eyes and I was completely overwhelmed with emotion. Jax was this little angel above me. The vision of him completely erased my memory of the bitterness of the pain I had just experienced and filled my heart with joy and gratitude. Of course, I was grateful the pain had subsided but more than that, I was grateful for the miracle that is procreation. Unlike Maddox's birth, this time, I was fully aware of what Jaxon would mean to us and how much love we would feel for him. I understood that he would be an eternal part of me and our family. The moment I held him in my arms and kissed him for the first time, I would feel that fierce, unconditional love for him that only a mother can feel. Jax came out with a head full of dark hair and beautiful, dark eyes. He did not turn out to be the huge 10-pound-baby the doctor predicted he would be. But he was a little clone of Allan and Maddox exactly as I had predicted. He was perfect in every way. He was a peaceful baby and only cried when he was hungry. He ate well, slept well and won over the hearts of the whole family including his big brother's. Jax has taught me so much. Namely, my heart is big enough for two children, I should be careful what I wish for (I had wanted to experience "the natural way" of having a baby and sure enough, I got a taste- pain.) and life does not always follow my plan. And that's okay because Heavenly Father's plan is way better than mine. I will be forever grateful for the little angel we were blessed with on August 13th- Jaxon Ray. He has made our family complete.
