Almost 2...

So Maddox will be two in just over a month.  It's very hard to believe but he is definitely showing signs of the "terrible twos."  Tantrums have become a little more frequent and more dramatic but luckily, they are still pretty short-lived.  And Maddox is still a softy for cuddles and hugs and kisses.  After he gets his cries out and finishes with his tantrum, he comes to me to be held and snuggled.  I am so glad he hasn't learned how to be angry with me or blame me for why he can't always have what he wants.  I am treasuring the moments that he lets me hold him, kiss him and cuddle him because any day now he could just decide that he is a big boy.  But a part of me believes he will always be affectionate.  It seems to be in his nature.
Maddox is still very energetic and constantly running away to explore and get as far as he can before he is caught.  He has become a fast little runner.  His speech has progressed and he has been learning new words.  He now says "bye-bye" and "mine" and "uh-oh" is still his most frequently used word as he says it anytime he gets into something he's not supposed to or any time I turn off the TV which has encouraged me to watch less TV since he seems to think something is wrong if it's not on.  Maddox spends most of his nights sleeping on the floor by the door and has been very stubborn about sleeping in his own bed.  I feel really bad for him and hate that he is sleeping on the floor but Allan reminds me that if it was uncomfortable he would move. But Allan is also a little bias because he spent some of his childhood with out a bed and had to sleep on the floor.  I don't know what else I can do.  I put him to bed and as soon as I walk out he gets out of bed and runs to the door.  Then, I wait about an hour until he is asleep and I move him to his bed.  But every morning I find him back by the door.  I'm hoping he will grow out of it.
Maddox got to visit his cousins in Idaho for a couple weeks and loved his time there.  All of his cousins were so sweet with him.  Maddox was introduced to toy guns, fishing, boating and motorized toy tractors and jeeps.  He fell in love!  We had to pry him from the steering wheels each time as he fought to stay on kicking and screaming.
Overall, Maddox is a very good boy and is learning how to listen and how to be a good helper.  He loves helping me load the dishwasher and pour in the soap and turn it on.  He loves helping me bake cookies, pancakes and brownies.  And he loves getting himself dressed.  In fact, he refuses to let me help him get dressed until after an hour of him getting his head stuck in the arm hole, I insist on helping.
Maddox has become very attached to his Daddy and wants to do everything Daddy does.  He loves putting on Allan's tennis shoes and doing exercises with Allan.  Allan has been doing a program called P90X and Maddox has learned several yoga poses and how to use a push-up bar.  Maddox is also obsessed with sports especially baseball but he loves basketball too.  Every time we see a basketball or a hoop, he wants us to lift him up so he can throw the ball in.  Maddox is very technologically savvy and is able to easily navigate an iPhone and iPad.  He especially loves the camera app and loves taking pictures of random things around the house like the ceiling fan and the couch.
These past few months, I have been trying to accept that our lives are going to change drastically when the new baby arrives.  I know that my love for Maddox will not change but our relationship will.  I am hoping that I can balance both of my babies' needs and that Maddox won't feel abandoned or unloved.  This is my biggest fear.  At the same time, I want to give the new baby just as much attention and love as I gave Maddox.  I held Maddox all day when he was baby and he slept by my side every night.  I don't want Maddox to feel excluded and I want to spend our days snuggling and playing just as we do now.  I'm sure I will figure it out but becoming a mother of two is going to be a challenge.  I just hope Maddox stays patient with me and loves me through the process.    

a wild child with soft skin

So Maddox is 20 months old and time is flying by.  He seems to be approaching the "terrible twos" and has a new scream/screech that he uses when he wants something.  After the screams, he throws tantrums.  But he seems to get sad more often than mad.  He puts his face in his hands and hunches over as he cries very dramatically.  Or he'll run to a corner and cry or lay on the floor face down and cry.  It's very sad and that's exactly what I say in a sympathetic voice, "oh, that's so sad."  I want to acknowledge how he is feeling while at the same time hoping he realizes that unfortunately, his very dramatic tears don't let him play with knives or stand on top of the table.  Now to be clear, Maddox does get mad.  And when he gets mad, he hits and kicks and throws things.  Mostly, he throws things.  And it drives me crazy!  I had to clean up a box of cornstarch that he threw all over the kitchen, apple juice when he threw his sippy cup, water when he threw a vase of flowers, cheese puffs, cheerios, peaches and the list goes on.  I just have to remember that it's not the end of the world and almost every mess can be cleaned up.  But it still drives me crazy.  And after he throws something, he runs.  And he is one fast runner.  Maddox has recently developed an obsession with kitchen utensils his favorites being can openers and spatulas.  For some reason, he loves them.  Allan decided that Maddox is no longer allowed to play with can openers because when Allan was cleaning the couch the other day, he cut his finger open on the can opener that had been shoved in between the cushions.  Poor Maddox was devastated but has seemed to be satisfied with the spatulas.  Maddox is very much loved by his nursery leaders.  They told me last week that he is by far the wildest kid they have ever had and that my house must be a mess because he destroys everything in his path.  They said that he rips pictures off the wall and reaches things off of cabinets and tries to unstack the chairs.  But they love him and recognize that it's because he's curious and has so much energy.  His nursery leaders also said that he is the most affectionate kid they've ever had and loves to be held.  And that he has very soft skin.  Ha ha.  A couple weeks ago, Maddox gave us quite a scare.  After church, I went to go pick him up from nursery and he wasn't there so I assumed Allan had picked him up.  But when the teacher saw me, she gasped realizing that Maddox had escaped.  Apparently, when one of the parents came in, Maddox sneaked out.  I was not worried at all at first and decided that he couldn't have gotten very far.  I walked around the church asking people if they had seen him.  When I finished the first lap, I started getting nervous.  No one had seen him and more and more people were looking for him.  5 minutes went by, then 10, then 15.  I started panicking.  I was so worried that he had run outside and into the street.  Plus, our church is not in a very safe part of town.  I was so worried and started crying.  Finally, someone found Maddox playing by the piano in the chapel.  I was so relieved and when I held him in my arms, I started crying even more thinking of how precious he is to me.  I don't know what I would do without him.  He is my everything!  I think he was a little scared too because when he saw me he started crying.  He probably got a little nervous after being alone for so long.  Anyway, his nursery leader felt so bad but I told her that Maddox is a very fast runner and loves to escape.  If Allan and I ever leave the front or back door open, Maddox sprints outside and runs for his life.  We have a very active, wild, loving little boy but I wouldn't change him for anything.  The other day, I was doing laundry and he found his blankie in the dirty clothes.  I was actually given 2 of the same blanket and it has worked out perfectly because Maddox always has a clean one.  Well, on the same day I was doing laundry, his clean blankie was still out from his nap time.  So for the first time, Maddox realized that he had two blankies and it made him so happy.  He was snuggling both of them holding them up to his face and smiling.  It was the cutest thing.  He is so easy to please and such a happy little boy.  He loves being held and kissed by me.  In fact he will sit on my lap for as long as I want him to and just let me kiss him over and over again.  I am such a lucky mom!

Christmas and 18 months old

So Maddox had his second Christmas and it was a lot of fun.  We got him a balance bike which is a small bike without pedals.  It's designed to help him go straight to a real bike and skip training wheels.  He loves it.  He hasn't fully grasped all that he can do with it yet and just kind of scoots along while straddling it.  Eventually, as he gets more comfortable he will be able to coast and glide on it and go a little faster.  We also got him some books and bath toys.  Maddox got to spend a lot of time with his cousins before Christmas when my whole family came to visit.  Maddox loves his cousins and shows it by always giving them hugs.  Maddox has been talking a little bit more.  He says "ma,ma,ma,ma" for "mas" or "more" and he says "dada" a lot and "go go" to Cuni a lot.  He also says "hi" every once in awhile.  That's about it.  I also decided to completely eliminate hot dogs from his diet.  There is some research that states that the nitrites and nitrates in hot dogs are harmful and while this is disputable, I just decided it was time to move on.  After all, a hot dog a day can't be good for anybody.  So Maddox now eats chicken nuggets, quesadillas, pasta and fruit.  And I have stopped adding vanilla to his milk and every once in awhile I won't add any sugar either.  Maddox has a new favorite parent- Daddy.  I thought I would get a little jealous but it's actually really cute and makes me happy to see how much he loves Allan.  This morning when he woke up, he wanted Allan to hold him and then when Allan had to go to work, Maddox did not want to let go and did not want to come to me.  He was so sad to see Daddy go.  And when Allan comes home for lunch, Maddox gets so happy and hyper.  I think Maddox is probably getting bored with me considering we spend every second of every day together.  Allan and I are taking a trip to Vegas in February, just the two of us and I think it will be good for everybody.  Maddox still loves to climb on everything and still loves to dance.  He is also still very affectionate especially with little girls.  His nursery teacher told me that last Sunday he kept kissing all the girls.  And a couple weeks ago, when we were at the museum, a little girl was being mean to him and Maddox kissed her.  It surprisingly resolved the issue because the little girl was stunned and just walked away.  But I'm not sure how to teach Maddox when it's appropriate to kiss and when it's not.  I don't want him being that little boy who chases all the girls and threatens to kiss them.  I remember little boys like that and they were not cute.  So hopefully, he outgrows it on his own.  It doesn't seem to bother anyone right now and of course, I love that he is always giving me kisses.  Well Maddox turns 18 months old tomorrow and I can't believe it.  He is growing up so fast and has made me so proud.  He is such a sweetheart and is so sensitive and loving.  And even though he doesn't seem to be advanced intellectually, I know that he has a high level of emotional intelligence.  Plus, he may surprise us and turn out to be a genius.  I just read something about Einstein not talking until he was four and I thought of Maddox.  Ha ha.  I love Maddox and I am so grateful for who he is becoming.  

Family Pics

Sensitive by Nature

It has been awhile since I have written but it feels like the older Maddox gets, the busier he gets and the busier I get.  So Maddox is extremely active and busy but is still very affectionate and very much attached to me.  I have weaned him to one feeding a day (in the morning) and I’m glad that he has remained bonded to me and still likes to cuddle and be held.  He is drinking cow’s milk now but I have to put sugar and vanilla in it for him to drink it.  I am slowly decreasing the amount of both so eventually he will drink plain milk.  Maddox is still very picky and eats a hot dog for at least one meal every day.  He has lots of teeth now.  We used to joke that he has “shark teeth” but now he has regular teeth.  I think they might be growing in a little crooked and he definitely has a gap between his two front teeth but I think his smile is so adorable.  Plus, I was already planning on getting all my kids braces so it’s okay.  Maddox loves bikes and scooters and any time he sees one he tries to ride it until I have to pull him away.  He is one persistent little boy.  Maddox understands pretty much everything I say but still isn’t saying a whole lot.  He points a lot and screams a lot but no words.  I’m sure it will happen soon but I’m not as stressed about it anymore.  Maddox loves to dance, play outside, ride in the stroller, climb(on anything and everything), play the piano, read, play with Cuni, and he loves being chased.  He also loves swimming and his baths.  He has learned to put his head under and blow bubbles.  He has no fear and doesn’t seem to swallow water at all.  Maddox still struggles with being soft with people, animals and things.  He gets so excited sometimes and hits things or grabs them or throws them.  Everything he does is so rough and fast.  But when it’s his nap time, he goes right down.  He loves his pacifier and his blankie and is still a very good sleeper.  He sleeps in until about 8:30 or 9 and goes to bed at around the same time at night.  He also still takes a 2 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon.  I want to share a couple of the cute things Maddox has done recently:
- When I took out the Christmas decorations, I let him look at and touch my nativity statues.  When he held the baby Jesus for the first time, he immediately gave the baby a kiss.  He is so sensitive and affectionate by nature.  I love it!
- Maddox gets extremely offended when he hurts someone.  Anytime I say "Ow" or "Ouch" after he kicks me or climbs on me or knees me, he puts his hands over his mouth and falls to pieces.  He is very sensitive!
- Maddox has learned the word "share" so even when he really doesn't want to share, he does.  He'll hand his toy to the other person and then immediately try to take it back.  But at least technically he is sharing even if it's only for a second.
- Maddox loves giving his Daddy kisses after his bath.  After he gets out, I bundle him up in his towel and carry him over to his Dad.  Every time, he has a huge smile on his face.
- Maddox loves following me everywhere and has learned that he can wrap himself around my legs and I will drag him along with me.  He thinks it's so fun.
- Maddox is a little OCD when it comes to his pacifier.  Recently, he has been placing the pacifier strap in between the pacifier and his upper lip as he sucks but it has to be just right.  So he is constantly readjusting it before he is satisfied.
I'm sure I'm forgetting some of the other cute things he does.  I hope to never forget these precious moments that I get to witness and share with him.  He is our everything and we discover more love for him everyday.  I am a very happy mother!

Halloween

Our Tall Dancer

We have had a busy month and a lot of fun!  Maddox had his 15 month check-up with the doctor and apparently, he is really tall.  The nurse measured him two times and then the doctor measured him again because they thought he was just too tall that they must have been measuring him wrong.  So he is in the 100th percentile for height which of course, his dad is super happy about.  I have to admit I was happy too.  I don't know why but having a tall and strong boy makes me a little proud.  Maddox is 85th percentile in weight.  It does seem to explain why most people assume he is older than he is.  Anyway, Maddox is climbing on everything and it has been tough to keep him out of trouble.  He loves climbing on the kitchen chairs and table, the toilet, the couches, the beds, etc.  He is very strong and a tough kid.  A couple weekends ago, we went to Utah and visited Allan's family.  Maddox got to play with his cousins, Mayan and Hunter and see his Grandma and Grandpa.  He was such a good boy and loved hanging out with his uncle Brent.  I think Maddox felt comfortable around him because he looks a little like Allan.  While we were all watching football together, Maddox climbed onto the couch next to Brent and sat right next to him leaning his head against him.  Then, Maddox grabbed a Pringles can and was just sitting there eating the chips watching football.  It was really funny.  Maddox also got to dress up for Halloween and go to a ward Trunk or Treat while we were there.  He was Yoda and I was Princess Leia.  He looked so cute!  Maddox was a good little traveler too.  I was really worried about the flights because Maddox has a hard time sitting still and not running around.  But he did great on both flights.  This past weekend, my parents came into town and we had so much with them.  We spent Halloween over at Becky's and went trick or treating in her neighborhood.  We all dressed up as characters from Stars Wars again- Maddox as Yoda, Allan as Luke and Me as Princess Leia.  It was so fun watching Maddox walk up to each door with his cousins in his cute little costume holding his little pumpkin for candy.  It made me realize Maddox is not a baby anymore...he's a little boy.  It was a bittersweet realization.  Maddox adores his cousins and loves giving Becky's boys hugs and following them around.  He also loved walking down the street with Grandpa and holding his hand.  The day after Halloween, Friday, we all went to the zoo.  Maddox is starting to notice the animals a little more and was pointing at some of them.  But his favorite part was playing in the water.  So we spent some time under the tree house in the water and the sand and Maddox got really dirty and wet but he had so much fun.  Saturday, we celebrated my Dad's 60th birthday at Carrabba's.  It was a great time and we are so lucky to have family so close.  Maddox is still breastfeeding and his eating habits have not improved.  A couple weeks ago, I bought the all-beef hot dogs instead of the cheap ones I usually buy and Maddox didn't like them.  I also bought a different kind of Teddy Grahams and he refused to eat those too.  I decided a while ago not to fight with him and force him to eat things because I don't want eating to be a negative experience for him but it is very frustrating.  I just have to tell myself that if he were starving, he would eat so he must not be starving.  We have discovered Maddox's favorite thing to do and his best talent- dancing.  Maddox loves to dance!  Anytime he hears music and pretty much any kind of music, he starts turning in circles and doing little squats bouncing up and down.  He is happiest when there is music on and we are all dancing.  He loves it!  My favorite part of the day is when Maddox and I dance together.  He is the best!