His Happy Self Again...

Well it all makes sense now. Maddox had his doctor's appointment for his 6 month shots and he had RSV and an ear infection. So I'm pretty sure that the reason he was being so fussy all those nights was because of his ear infection. I had a feeling that something was going on but it's so hard to know. The RSV was pretty evident by his coughing and runny nose. Luckily, he didn't get a fever or diarrhea but his cough was really bad. I could tell it was painful because he would cry a little every time he coughed and it would wake him up at night. For the last week and a half, I have been taking hot showers with him in the mornings and nights hoping that the steam would help his congestion. The doctor gave him an antibiotic for his ear infection but nothing for the RSV because he was already improving on his own. Almost overnight, Maddy reverted back to his normal happy self. I was so relieved! But also, I felt bad that he was fussy and miserable because he was uncomfortable and in pain. Anyway, for now on, if he isn't acting himself, I will assume that something is wrong physically and take him to the doctor sooner. Maddy is now 7 months and still growing like a weed. He weighs 20 lbs. He still isn't crawling yet but seems to be trying. He gets up on his hands and knees sometimes and seems to move around the floor but mostly by rolling or scooting. He has also started "talking" and saying "mamamama" and "bababababa" over and over again. It is so much fun to hear him getting close to saying real words! He also still loves his feet and still puts them in his mouth (I bathe him everyday and try to keep his feet clean). Maddox has also started giving kisses but they are always very open-mouthed. I don't mind though because I think it is the sweetest thing in the world when he leans in to touch his mouth to mine. He has also learned the meaning of "no" or at least understands when I'm telling him to not do something like bite me while breastfeeding or spitting out his baby food for fun. He doesn't seem to get sad when I say no, instead he gets a little mad. It's really cute but at least he is learning to listen. Maddox still thinks Cuni is hilarious and loves to watch him walk around the room which is rare since Cuni is extremely lazy. Maddy is still night nursing like a champ. He stocks up and eats every couple hours during the night. And then during the day, he only nurses about 3 or 4 times. It's ok though because I have come to terms with the fact that it's just part of being a mom. After my horrible experience with the Cry It Out Method, I have embraced a new mentality that has made me happier as a mom. It may fall under the "attachment parenting" category but I don't care. After writing my last blog post and after a night of listening to my precious angel cry himself to sleep, I had a breakdown. I cried for a couple hours and prayed for forgiveness. I know that might seem melodramatic but I sincerely felt like I had made a huge mistake and had done something terribly wrong. I decided that I would never restrain myself from comforting my son again. So I decided to do what feels right. Since then I have been mothering Maddy completely and totally according to his needs- I hold him if he wants to be held, I feed him if he wants to eat, I let him sleep with me if he wants to, etc. I honestly think that this is what works for us and makes us both the happiest. He knows that I am there for him to meet his needs and he can always trust that I will be there for him. Eventually, he will grow out of the night nursing thing and sleep through the night and eventually, he will be ready to sleep in his own room but for now, he needs to be close to his mom. On Saturday, we went to the Phoenix Zoo with Michelle and Loni and their kids. It was a lot of fun. When we went into the petting zoo area, we saw lots of goats walking around. Allan was holding Maddy and when he leaned down to let Maddy get closer to a goat, Maddy stuck out his lower lip and started crying. He was scared of the goat or something. It was so cute! So we left the petting zoo area and then he was fine. Anyway, a lot has happened and I feel like Maddy is progressing even faster now. He is starting to look like a little boy and not a baby anymore. He still doesn't have a ton of hair but it's growing and I brush it now. His eyes are still bright blue and he is still extremely thick and solid. He loves his saucer and sits on the floor and plays with his toys like a good little boy. He also still watches his Spanish cartoons: Dora La Exploradora and La Casa de Mickey. Maddox is the best baby and goes with me everywhere. I couldn't imagine life without him. He is my everything! I love him so much and am so thankful for his happy amd carefree personality. He is so easy to make smile and laugh. We are truly blessed to have Maddox as our son.

Sleep Training or Lack Thereof...

For the last week, Maddy has been having a rough time at nights. He was waking up almost every hour and wanting to nurse. And he only wanted to sleep in our bed. I finally got him to spread out his feedings but he has been screaming the second I lay him down in his own bed. So I decided to try the Cry It Out Method again but in intervals. It was really, really hard last night. I felt like a horrible mother. His capacity for crying has increased and he can cry louder and longer. I’m debating as to whether or not I should keep this up. I just feel so bad. He cried so much Saturday night that he was exhausted Sunday and slept for most of the day. And again last night- he is taking a really long nap right now probably trying to recover. I can’t help but think that he’s just a baby and wants to be near his mom and dad and feel our warmth and love. I think if he cries tonight, I will hold him and let him sleep with me. I love him so much and it breaks my heart to not be able to comfort him when he might be scared. I have been researching it online and there are lots of articles on both ends of the spectrum- those who say just let him cry and those who say he’ll grow out of it on his own. We’ll see what happens tonight but I set a goal when I became a mother: I never want Maddy to doubt my love for him. I want him to feel loved every second of every day. No matter what. And he is getting to an age where he is starting to understand that I am leaving the room and not there anymore. And he remembers things. I know that he still loves me and he is happy to see me in the mornings but I don’t want to take advantage of his innocence. One article I read said that I can’t just decide to stop being a mom at night because I want to sleep. And I agree. It made me realize how selfish I have been. If Maddy wants to nurse every hour then that’s what he needs and I should allow him to. I am his caretaker and this may be my only opportunity to nurse and raise my own baby. I want to value every moment I have with him. I think writing this has made me realize that I need to be more patient and less selfish.

Sweet Toothe

Maddy has gotten so much better at eating solids.  He loves his baby food now and can eat a 3 oz container in one sitting and still want more.  His favorite is Pears w/Cinnamon and Oatmeal.  He also likes his oatmeal cereal with apple juice and Peach Cobbler baby food and applesauce.  I have been giving him bites of my food and let him try carrots and chicken last night.  He seemed to like it. Maddy definitely prefers the sweet stuff and still has not acquired a taste for salt or non-sweet foods. And of course he loves ice cream! And anything sweet. He loves smoothies and always tries to drink out of my water bottle. He wants whatever Mommy and Daddy have.

San Diego

Maddy got to visit his grandparents in San Diego and had a great time. He met his Grandpa and his uncles and was such a good boy. He loves being around people and doesn’t seem to have “stranger danger.” He only fusses when he thinks he’s alone or when I leave the room. While in San Diego, we went for a walk at La Jolla Cove and went to the aquarium. He loved looking at the fish and the backlighted tanks. Maddox also got to try some new foods. Grandma fed him Rice Krispies and he seemed to like them. Maddy is still learning how to sit up on his own without falling over. I felt so bad because I was taking a picture of him and he leaned forward and hit his head on the ground. He cried and had a little red mark on his forehead. After that, we started putting pillows all around him to protect him from the hard floors. He was so happy and friendly and I was so glad my brothers and parents got to spend time with him. It was a lot of fun!

At Last

During my drive to AZ, I listened to the lyrics of this song and I loved it. It totally describes how I feel about Maddy. It's from the Disney movie Tangled: "All those days watching from the windows All those years outside looking in All that time never even knowing Just how blind I've been Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight Now I'm here, suddenly I see Standing here, it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted All at once everything looks different Now that I see you All those days chasing down a daydream All those years living in a blur All that time never truly seeing Things, the way they were Now he's here shining in the starlight Now he's here, suddenly I know If he's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go And at last I see the light And it's like the fog is lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted All at once, everything is different Now that I see you, Now that I see you!"

6 months old

Maddox weighs almost 20 lbs. At the doctor’s office, he only weighed 18 something but the day before Allan had weighed him and he weighed exactly 20 lbs. Even at 18 something, he is 75th percentile in weight. He measures 28.25" and is 97th percentile in height. He is a big boy! His car seat is getting heavier and he seems to be outgrowing it already. Maddox has been developing so fast in so many ways. He can grab for things and now “wants” things like my water bottle, my face, my hair, and pretty much anything within reach. He can sit up by himself occasionally falling over as he reaches for his toys and he scoots and rolls. He loves his bath time and has learned how to splash. Maddy has been sick over the last couple of weeks, so I have let him take showers with me so that the steam can help his congestion. It really seems to relax him and he just lets me hold me. It is such a precious moment with him. He is so calm and just looks up at me while I hold him. I get so emotional thinking of him not being a little baby anymore. He just grows too fast. He also got his first teeth in. One popped up and I didn’t even notice until I felt it in his mouth and then looked and saw it poking through. Then a week later, I noticed a second one coming through right next to it. He is such a good baby that I didn’t even realize he was teething. He didn’t seem to be extra fussy or anything. He still loves putting everything in his mouth. His favorite thing to do recently is pull off his socks and hold his feet. He tries to put them in his mouth but he is getting bigger and a little less flexible. Maddy loves looking in the mirror and smiling at himself and at me. As for his sleeping habits, he is still waking up to eat every 3 hours and has been sleeping a lot more with Mommy and Daddy just because I’ve been getting lazy and needing more sleep. As for eating, he is doing great with solids. He loves apple juice and apple sauce. For some reason, he doesn’t seem to like bananas as much. Anyway, eating solids definitely has not decreased his appetite for nursing. He still is a big eater! I just can't believe Maddox is already 6 months old. It has gone by so fast. I can't imagine life without him. He is so special and I am so thankful for him.

A New Home in Arizona

Allan finally got a job! So we moved back to Arizona. Maddy was so good during the drive. He is such a good boy. We split up the drive as much as we could but he was in the car seat for three days straight. He would get a little fussy when he was hungry but overall, he just slept and played all by himself. We rented a 2 bedroom apartment in Phoenix and the plan was for Maddy to have his own room (and his own bed). But I’m a pushover and decided that it was too much change for him (and me) at once. I figured once he gets used to the new place and isn’t eating as much at night, I will move him to the other bedroom.