Parenting and Patience

So Jaxon is now 8 months old and Maddox is almost 3. Where has the time gone? Jaxon has improved so much in the last month when it comes to being fussy when he's not being held. He plays with toys a lot and is on the verge of crawling. He always ends up on all fours and thinks he is stuck. But mostly, his mode of transportation is rolling. He rolls all around the house. Jax is still very much attached to me and has a very difficult time when I leave him. I tried to go to a local gym to workout and left him at the childcare. They came to get me 10 minutes later because he was inconsolable. The second I walked in and held him he stopped crying. It was very disappointing because I was really looking forward to being able to go to the gym since the weather is too cold for us to use the jogging stroller. I'm realized that part of my sacrifice as a mother is being fat. Well, Jaxon finally found a love for solids and all food. He wants a bite of everything I am eating and gets very mad if I'm not quick about sharing. He loves graham crackers, ritz crackers, popcorn, baby cereal with apple juice and his absolute favorite is ice cream. I haven't really been giving him a lot of baby food just because I'm lazy but I feed him cereal once or twice a day and give him lots of snacks in between. Basically, whenever Maddox or I eat, he gets to share. Jaxon is still an amazingly great sleeper. He is doing a lot better at decreasing his feedings in the night too. Jax has such a cute smile and laugh. He is so in love with Maddox and his daddy. He also loves bath time and taking showers. Jaxon is so special and such a huge source of happiness for our family. He is super chubby and has a fat kid laugh that is contagious. Everywhere I go people comment on how cute and chubby he is. I couldn't ask for a more perfect baby for me in my life right now. He reminds me to slow down and enjoy my baby while he is still small and dependent. He gives me love and affection every second of every day. His touch and smell automatically comfort me. He is my little sidekick almost always attached to me and I'm obsessed. 
Maddox has progressed so much in the last 2 weeks with his speech. He had a speech evaluation this week and a couple ladies came to the house to evaluate him. They are going to let me know what their recommendation is in about a week. But he is starting to put two words together on his own so now instead of just "Look!" he will say, "Look, Mama!" or instead of "Sorry" he will say, "Sorry, Jackie." He is also starting to say a lot more phrases and sentences. And he is repeating everything I ask him to when we are reading books. I am starting to see a lot more of just how sweet and loving he is now that he can express what he is thinking. For example, he has recently started saying "Sorry, Mama" any time he thinks he may have displeased me or done anything he wasn't supposed to. It actually makes me really sad so I'm trying to teach him that he only says sorry when he does something wrong on purpose or accidentally hurts someone.Yesterday at Walmart, I bought some lotion and he was sitting in the main part of the cart. I told him not to touch it and in about 30 seconds of looking away, Maddox had squirted lotion everywhere. It was all over him, the cart, and an entire shelf of an aisle. I was furious but being that we were in the middle of walmart, I didn't yell and just started cleaning it up. I definitely let Maddox know with my body language and my huffing and puffing that I was not happy. After a couple of minutes of watching me, unprompted, Maddox said, "Sorry, Mama." It was so sincere and I could tell he genuinely felt bad. I still told him that what he did was wrong but I also got to see that he has a soft heart and didn't like making me mad. Maddox has become addicted to TV and his Ipad so we are in the process of weaning him from both. It has not been fun and there have been hours of screaming, tantrums and crying but it has to happen. Although I will say he is attracted to very educational shows. His favorites are Little Einsteins which teaches him about music, math, and literature and Umi Zoomi which teaches him colors, shapes and numbers. Maddox is also very good at puzzles. He can put together puzzles on his own on his ipad apps. He is still obsessed with cars, trucks and trains. And he still has an incredible amount of energy. We went to the Detroit zoo for the first time a couple of weeks ago and he caused a scene because he started chasing the ducks and geese that were walking around. He wanted to touch them and apparently normal kids don't because Maddox was the only kid chasing them and everyone stopped to stare and laugh. I was trying to stop him but I had the double stroller and Jaxy in a carrier so it took me a while. Anyway, Maddox ran circles around us at the zoo and didn't stop until I strapped him into his car seat. He has endless energy! Maddox still is a very picky eater and only eats hot dogs, tortilla chips and anything with maple syrup. He also loves tortilla chips with salsa and/or guacamole. He loves nursery and his teachers seem to really like him. Maddox is learning to share and take turns which is difficult for him. Usually, he will share after much coaxing but then right after he has given the toy away, he will throw a huge tantrum. But at least he gives the toy away. Not we just have to work on the reaction. Maddox is still very affectionate and we spend time snuggling after his nap and in the mornings. Maddox also still sleeps on the floor of his bedroom by the door every single night. And most nights, he cries himself to sleep because he wants out. I wonder if he will ever sleep in a bed and if he will ever just fall asleep instead of fighting it. I can only imagine what that would be like. He still has a child lock door knob on the inside of his bedroom which may have to stay for another couple of years. I'm hoping that once he and Jaxy share a room all of our bedtime problems will be solved. Ya, right. Ha ha. In the meantime, we are doing the best we can. Conference was a couple weeks ago and there was a talk that I loved that I hope to remember when I'm struggling with being a mom. It's by Elder Wilford Andersen and he talks about parenting and practicing patience. This is my favorite quote:
"When our children are little, we can sing them the lullaby of love unfeigned, and when they are obstinate and refuse to go to sleep at night, we might need to sing the lullaby of long-suffering. When they are teenagers, we can tune out the cacophony of arguments and threats and, instead, perform the beautiful music of persuasion—and perhaps sing the second verse of the lullaby of long-suffering. Parents can perform in perfect harmony the tandem attributes of gentleness and meekness. We can invite our children to sing along with us in unison as we practice kindness toward a neighbor who is in need.
It won’t come all at once. As every accomplished musician knows, it takes diligent practice to perform beautiful music. If early efforts at making music seem dissonant and discordant, remember that dissonance cannot be corrected by criticism. Dissonance in the home is like darkness in a room. It does little good to scold the darkness. We must displace the darkness by introducing light.
So if the basses in your family choir are too loud and overbearing, or if the string section in your family orchestra is a little too shrill or a little bit sharp, or if those impetuous piccolos are out of tune or out of control, be patient. If you’re not hearing the music of the gospel in your home, please remember these two words: keep practicing. With God’s help, the day will come when the music of the gospel will fill your home with unspeakable joy.
Even when performed well, the music will not solve all of our problems. There will still be crescendos and decrescendos in our lives, staccatos and legatos. Such is the nature of life on planet earth.
But when we add music to the dance steps, the sometimes complicated rhythms of marriage and family life tend to move toward a harmonious balance. Even our most difficult challenges will add rich plaintive tones and moving motifs. The doctrines of the priesthood will begin to distill upon our souls as the dews from heaven. The Holy Ghost will be our constant companion, and our scepter—a clear reference to power and influence—will be an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth. And our dominion will be an everlasting dominion. And without compulsory means it will flow unto us forever and ever."

Jaxy Chunk-Chunks

I realize that I documented Maddox's first months more regularly than I have Jaxon's.  So this post will be completely devoted to our little guy, Jaxy.  First, we have given him several nicknames including but not limited to: Jackie, Jax, Jaxy, Chunk-chunks, Stink-stinks, Chunkas, Grumpy Baby, Baby, and probably a ton more that I can't think of right now.  Jaxy is the epitome of a mama's boy.  He cannot take his eyes off of me and stares at me pretty much the whole day.  He always wants me to be holding him and usually he also wants me to be nursing him.  Obviously, I don't hold him all day long so he spends a lot of time whining and crying.  It's not a full-on cry but it's a very annoying, grunting, whining cry.  Jaxy has no desire to crawl because in his mind, he shouldn't even be on the floor.  He also has no desire to eat solids probably because he thinks I should be nursing him all day.  He definitely knows what he wants and when he doesn't get it, he lets everyone know with his temper.  If I take something away from him that he wants to play with, he instantly screams and cries until I give it back.  He has started to play with toys and it's really cute.  His idea of playing with a toy consists of grabbing it and putting it in his mouth then shaking it, then putting it in his mouth again.  He has reached the grabbing stage and has already gotten food, poop, and soap on his hands.  Although Jaxy can be particular and demanding, he is the biggest sweetheart I have ever met and just melts our hearts with his smile.  He is very social and whenever people come over or I'm in a group talking holding him, he stares and smiles during the conversation like he knows what's going on.  He is very ticklish under his neck and I can always make him laugh by kissing him there.  And his laugh is contagious.  Jaxy has very sensitive skin and has had severe cradle cap since birth.  It started out at dandruff, then progressed to oily scaly flakes, and then moved down to a red bumpy rash over his sideburns.  He also has had diaper rash a lot.  Jaxon has a huge head and big ears that stick out and humongous cheeks.  But when you put it all together, he is the cutest!  He is a fantastic sleeper and does so well at nights.  He can sleep through Maddox screaming and Allan turning on lights and shutting doors.  As long as he is right next to me, he stays asleep.  He still nurses a lot in the night but I'm sure part of it is being in a new place.  Jaxon loves his feet and always reaches for them when he first lays down.  He also loves listening to me sing.  He will just stare at me and smile whenever I am singing.  As a mother, having a second baby with a toddler was a very difficult transition.  I often feel guilty for not spending as much "quality" time with Jaxon as I did with Maddox.  I probably have not held Jaxon as much as I held Maddox either.  We have moved two times in Jaxon's short little life, the most recent move was across the country.  I have felt frustrated with the fact that I can't hold Jaxon all day and also, that because I don't, we all get to listen to a baby crying.  It has worn on me some days and I feel bad about that.  I don't know why he is that way because as my brother-in-law put it, I "don't hold him all the time and he still cries, so he must have been born that way." I think that Jaxon isn't needy but is my own personal reminder to slow down and focus on what's important.  I will never get this time back.  Jaxon is only a baby now and he is completely obsessed and in love with me.  It won't be like that for very much longer.  So for now, I try to enjoy and appreciate how much he needs me and only me.  I love my chunky baby and I am so grateful for his perfect personality.

Thanksgiving in San Diego

We had an amazing time in San Diego and were blessed with perfect beach weather. Maddox was his typical self and was constantly exploring new places and trying to escape. Allan and I wised up though and bought child-proof door knob covers. However, that did not save us from a couple of "only Maddox" moments. Several times during the long weekend, Maddox was able to sneak out into the garage and climb up onto Grandpa's motorcycle. Maddox also managed to lock himself in a bedroom that had no key. Late one night, as Allan and I were heading to bed, we realized that the door was locked and Maddox was laying asleep right by it on the inside. So my dad came to the rescue. He first attempted to drill into the door knob but after a lot of time and no results, finally my dad kicked down the door in heroic style. During my dad's drilling, our whole family was in the hall gathered around him and of course, voicing our opinions and arguing about how we should handle the situation. I was so glad to have such patient parents who were only concerned with Maddox's welfare. We spent almost every day at the beach. My mom and dad brought a kite one day and Maddox fell in love. The wind was not cooperated but my dad was so sweet and carried the kite behind Maddox as he walked up and down the beach. Allan spent a lot of time in the water and showed off his surfing skills. We also welcomed home Camilla from her mission. She looked great and was back to her old self in no time.

Jaxon's baby blessing

"Our dear Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ and by the authority of the holy Melchizedek Priesthood which we hold.  We take this infant in our arms to give him a name and a blessing.  The name by which he shall be known on the records of the church and throughout his life on this earth is Jaxon Ray Draper.  Jaxon, at this time we pronounce a blessing upon your head that it may guide you throughout your life. We bless you with a determination and desire to obtain knowledge throughout your life; both secular and spiritual knowledge.  We bless you that you may look to true sources of knowledge; that you may find God in your life.  We bless you with a desire to obtain a testimony of the Gospel and to follow the perfect example of Jesus Christ.  We bless you that you may be humble; that you may serve others, and that you will learn at an early age that the true wealth in this life is obtained by serving others. I bless you that you may be able to overcome temptation; that you may overcome your challenges and your trials, and that through those challenges and trials you will become stronger and you will learn from them.  I bless you with health; that you may be able to accomplish all the things that your Heavenly Father desires of you.  I bless you that you may continue in paths of righteousness and learn from great examples who have gone before you.  I bless you with all these things and all other things that your Heavenly Father has in store for you at this time, and do so in the name of Jesus Christ Amen."

Pronounced 11/9/14 by Allan

Maddox's first haircut

Halloween

Jaxon's Blessing Announcement