1 year old birthday

Maddox is one and officially walking.  He decided he'd rather walk than crawl on his birthday.  He is already a really good walker.  He had his doctor appointment on his birthday as well and had 3 shots.  I felt so bad for him.  He hates the doctor's office now because he can remember and recognize it as the place they poke him and make him cry.  Maddox is such a good boy though and only cried for a minute.  On Wednesday, his birthday, I made his favorite food for dinner- pasta and I made a strawberry shortcake since he loves strawberries.  It was just the 3 of us and was the perfect family birthday dinner.  Saturday, we had people over and swam and barbecued.   I made a giraffe cake that was shaped like the number one and it turned out pretty cute.  We had some of our good friends over, some families from our ward, and Becky and her family.  Maddox got some really cute clothes and fun toys even though I told everyone not to bring gifts.  It was really fun though and everyone adores Maddox.  I can't believe he is already one.  The time has flown by. 

Maddox is getting very picky and will now only eat peaches, watermelon and strawberries.  He used to like all sorts of fruit and I could just give him fruit cocktail.  So everyday he eats the same thing.  Yogurt and a waffle for breakfast, hot dog and peaches for lunch, and pasta for dinner.  I try to throw in more fruit and sometimes a baby food whenever I can just so that I feel like he's getting some kind of nutrition.  But he is still breastfeeding which makes me feel a little better about his eating habits.  Maddox has become more obedient lately.  He understands what "no" means and when I say it, he usually will stop and move on to something else.  I think he knows that if he doesn't listen, I will physically remove him from whatever he's doing anyway so he might as well do it.  He has been sleeping really well.  However, when he has had a busy day with friends or swimming, Maddox will wake up crying a couple times during the night but go right back to sleep.  I have to admit that I anticipate him waking up every morning to nurse and come into our bed.  I just miss him and I love nursing him in bed and sleeping next to him.  He is so wiggly and active now that when he's awake, he's never still.  So when he's asleep and nursing, we snuggle and I love it.  Maddox loves watching videos of himself and seeing pictures of himself.  I don't know if it's because he likes babies or if it's because he knows it's him.  Maddox also loves mirrors and still loves to read books.

We have been so blessed to have Maddox in our lives.  Allan and I always say that we didn't really know true happiness until we became parents.  I am so grateful for him and the person that he is becoming.  I am starting to see him develop into a little boy and although it's difficult and sad for me, it's also extremely exciting watching him progress and learn.  He is a sweet, loving, obedient and affectionate little boy.  He is shy and will often put his head down and his hands in his mouth when someone is looking at him or talking to him.  But he will always smile.  He is friendly and loves babies and other little kids.  I have had the best year of my life and I know it only gets better.    

Photo Shoot as a 1 year old

Grateful

Wednesday marks the one year anniversary of the birth of our little boy.  As the day approaches, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.  I feel so honored that I was chosen to be Maddox's mother.  I feel thankful for every moment I have spent with him.  There have been many precious moments when I have observed him enthralled with a book, turning the pages quietly.  Or when our eyes have met for several minutes while I nursed him or rocked him to sleep.  Although he can't understand my words yet, I hope my love for him is loud and clear.  I hope that when he feels my heart beat, he knows that it is filled with love for him.

Maddox is walking... a little bit.  He can walk but he chooses not to.  It's actually a little frustrating because I keep trying to help him by standing him up and then walking away, calling him to walk to me.  But he plops down immediately and crawls to me.  I think he's a little on the lazy side.  Plus, he is one fast crawler.  It's actually amazing watching him crawl across the room oftentimes faster than I can walk.  He usually just walks around the house using the walls and furniture as support so crawling is his last resort.  I'm sure eventually he will trust himself enough to let go.  Maddox still loves pasta and fruit and he still loves books.  He has been obsessed with the toilet recently which really grosses me out.  He has stuck his hand into the water a couple of times because he knows how to lift the toilet seat up.  I have been trying to keep him out of the bathrooms but it's hard when I need to do my hair or brush my teeth.  If I lock him out, he just pounds on the door and cries until I let him in.  I usually solve the problem by not doing my hair.  It's amazing how having a kid forces you to prioritize and figure out what things are truly necessary.  I've discovered that a shower and brushing my teeth are about all I get.  Maddox is still doing well at nights.  He wasn't feeling well and had a fever a couple nights ago and woke up several times.  But other than that, he has been sleeping until about 5 or 6 in the morning.  It's been really nice.  Maddox loves his daddy.  Allan always seems to get him to laugh uncontrollably.  It's the cutest thing watching them play.  And of course, Maddox says "dada" all the time.  I think he really knows what it means too.  He says "mama" too and he knows what that means but he only says it when he's crying.  Right now, Daddy is the "fun" parent and I'm the one that provides the food and comfort.  It's ok though.  I don't mind.  I'm so thankful for our little family.  And this week, I'm especially grateful for this past year of our lives.      

Sleeping through the night...at last!

I have to admit... I was right.  I know that a lot of people and a lot of other parents believe in the Cry it Out Method, the Interval Training Method, the "Close the door and walk away" Method and that's fine.  As for me, I believe that when the time is right, it will happen.  In the past, when I would try to sleep-train Maddox, it was miserable.  He was unhappy and I was unhappy and Daddy was unhappy and we were all sleep-deprived.  There was no progress and I always gave up after 3 or 4 nights.  But this time, the timing felt right and Maddox was ready.  Four nights ago, I decided I would stop nursing him at night and teach him to sleep in his own bed.  5:00 would be the earliest I would nurse him and let him into our bed.  When he would wake up, I decided I would just rock him back to sleep and put him back in his bed.  So night 1 was rough.  Maddox woke up 4 or 5 times and cried for about 30 minutes each time.  Night 2 was better.  He only woke up 2 or 3 times.  Night 3 he woke up once and last night- night 4... HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!  I was so excited and so proud of him.  Now, I know it's only one night so I am hoping that by writing this I'm not jinxing myself.  We'll see how tonight goes.  But contrary to my previous attempts, this time I am seeing progress.  I nursed him at 6:00 this morning and let him sleep with me for the rest of the morning.  I don't mind the co-sleeping at all.  In fact, the only reason I am sleep-training him is so that he learns he doesn't need to nurse all night.  And so that eventually I can move him into his own room probably within the next couple of months.  Although, I find myself feeling a lot of anxiety whenever I think about him sleeping in another room and not right next to me.  But for the sake of our marriage, I think it has to happen eventually and probably sooner rather than later.  Well after that big news, I feel like there isn't much more to say.  Maddox is still really close to walking on his own.  I'm sure it will happen any day now.  He knows who Cuni is and when I ask him where Cuni is, he looks at him.  No, he's not pointing yet and he's not clapping either but hey, at least he's understanding a little bit of what's going on around him.  Maddox is going through an awkward phase with his hair.  As his mother, I think he is beautiful and that includes thinking his hair is beautiful.  But to the world, he doesn't have good hair.  It's really long in the back and has a weird curly wavy thing going on but only in the back.  On top, his hair is straight and sparse.  So today we went swimming and after the sunscreen and chlorine, his hair was not looking its best.  Allan brought to my attention his hair issues and that's when I realized all of this.  But luckily, it's just a phase and I think it's because he is transitioning from his baby hair to little boy hair.  I still think he is gorgeous.  Anyway, Maddox is still a big eater.  The other day he ate a whole can of Spaghetti-o's and he can eat fruit and pasta for days.  We had his first experience in a bouncy house at a little girl's birthday party and he hated it.  He was really scared.  But I'm sure he will learn to like bouncy houses even though his dad wanted to teach him to like it now.  It's funny how the never-ending battle between Allan and me is my propensity to baby Maddox a little too much and Allan's propensity to toughen him up a little too much.  I'm sure we'll figure it out and find the right balance someday.  But for now, Maddox is my baby.  

Seconds Away...

Maddox is seconds away from walking. Every time I let go of his hand he stands there for a couple seconds on his own before realizing I'm not holding his hand anymore. Then he plops to the floor on his bum. It's like my mom said- he won't walk until he trusts himself even though he CAN walk. It's exciting though watching him learn. Maddy goes all around the house walking along furniture and pushing his toy. He has recently discovered how to throw things particularly food. He also loves closing or more specifically slamming doors shut. From day one Maddox has loved looking out our patio door. Unfortunately for both of us, there are blinds in the way. So of course, Maddox has smashed, ripped off, bitten off, and bent the blinds piece by piece. A couple days ago I decided to try and teach my 11 month old the consequences of destroying blinds. It just seemed like he knew what he was doing because he definitely understands what "no" means and each time I would say "no" he would just look at me and smile and keep playing with the blinds. Then when I would get up to remove him from the blinds, he would almost get excited and start hitting at the blinds faster and harder. So I thought I would teach him that it's not a game anymore. After putting him in "tiempo" or "time-out" several times which consisted of me keeping him in a sitting position facing a corner, nothing seemed to change. Maybe I was doing it wrong but more than likely, he's too young. Plus, I felt like a mean mom. After all, the blinds are right at eye and hand level for him and very accessible. And he definitely didn't seem to understand why I was making him sit in a corner. He of course didn't like it and cried but he looked pretty confused. I can admit that my first attempt at discipline was a complete failure. My approach so far and still is to remove from his access anything he's not supposed to play with or destroy and the rest is fair game. It's just easier that way. I hate feeling like I have spent my whole day saying "no" which is how I felt after the whole "tiempo" debacle. Anyway, Maddox is still enjoying books and his cartoons-Dora. He is getting a bigger appetite and loves fruit cocktail and spaghetti-O's. He has a ton of teeth now and is still biting everything. Maddy has been paying a lot more attention to Cuni (to Cuni's dismay) and has been getting a little better at being soft with him. Maddox loves swimming and his baths. He also loves playing the piano with Mommy. He is very vocal but doesn't seem to be close to talking. He screams and grunts and babbles baby talk but nothing coherent. Maddox has also learned to dance. It's the cutest thing. Whenever he hears a song he likes he starts bouncing and swaying from side to side. I love it! Well that's all that's really new. Hopefully in my next post I will be announcing that Maddy is walking.

Mr. Personality

Maddy got sick about a week ago and today is the first day he is feeling better and back to his normal happy self. He had Roseola. It was very stressful for me because he had a fever for about five days straight and he didn’t seem to be improving. That was really his only major symptom other than a decreased appetite which in itself was stressful. I took him to the doctor mostly to make sure it wasn’t an ear infection. The doctor said it was most likely a virus and to wait it out. Finally, a couple days ago he got a weird rash on his back and neck. After talking to Missy, I googled "fever rash" and discovered Roseola. It was such a relief finally figuring out what he had. During the past week and as I listened to Maddy fussing and crying throughout the day and night, I realized how much I love and missed his personality that I often take for granted. I thought that I would make a list:

•I love how he makes a “kah” sound over and over again when I let him play with something new.

•I love how he sits on the floor and spins himself around in circles when he is playing with a fun toy.

•I love how he wants to give me kisses right after he hurts himself.

•I love how he looks over at me and smiles right before he is about to do something naughty.

•I love how he loves books and can sit for hours turning the pages.

•I love how ticklish he is on his feet and thighs and tummy and neck.

•I love how he is so curious and gets stuck in all kinds of weird places and positions.

•I love how he crawls inhumanly fast when he is going for something he isn’t supposed to play with.

•I love how he looks out the window of the patio door and watches the birds and bangs on the door wanting to go outside.

•I love how he bangs on the door after Daddy leaves.

•I love how he smothers his face into his blankie before his naps and before bedtime.

•I love how he reaches for me in the middle of the night and rolls closer to me so we are always touching.

The list goes on and obviously a lot of these things are only endearing to me because I am his mother. But I realize how special he is and how lucky I am to be able to know him in a way that no one else ever will. I love Maddox with all my heart and I am so grateful to be his mommy.

Our little bookworm

Maddy is almost 10 months old and still growing. He has displayed a love for books recently and when he isn't crawling or walking along furniture, his favorite thing to do is sit and turn the pages of his books. It is so special to see him sit quietly and take a book in his hands and turn the pages. I can't believe how smart he is and how fast he learns. It's amazing. Maddy has also been trying to stand on his own. He has been letting go of the couch and the chairs and standing for several seconds before he falls on his bum. Maddox is getting a very big appetite and eating a variety of foods. He likes toast or a waffle for breakfast and of course he still loves cheese, yogurt and fruit. But he also eats whatever we are having for dinner so lasagna, enchiladas, quesadillas, pasta, meatballs, etc. So I am hoping he is not a picky eater and continues to like everything we give him. I have noticed that Maddox now understands what "no" means. Not to say that he listens but he definitely knows that when I say "no" he is supposed to stop whatever he is doing. Unfortunately, he also thinks it is funny when Mom has to go get him and take him away from whatever he is doing. Once taken away he then gets mad and being as persistent as he is, goes back to whatever it was he was doing. This cycle takes up a large part of our day. But I don't mind because I know he is exploring and learning and eventually, he will listen when Mom says "no"... hopefully. Maddox has been saying "mama" a lot especially when he is fussy but it is very endearing to hear him cry for me. Maddox loves swimming and playing with Cuni and Cuni has learned that he is not allowed to run away from Maddox so he just lays there while Maddox pulls at his hair and hits him. But I am teaching Maddox "soft" or "suave" so he is doing a little better with Cuni. Maddox also loves to go for walks and ride in his stroller. Maddox is a very happy little boy and very affectionate. He has a thing for girls with dark long hair. He will go to anyone that has long black hair and is very affectionate with them. It's really funny. Although he has become a little shy and when a stranger talks to him or looks at him he puts his head down and looks away. He is also very scared of the missionaries for some reason. Every time they have come over for dinner, he starts crying and gets really scared when they first walk in. I have a feeling he is going to be shy. Allan and I were both shy as children so it wouldn't surprise me. Maddox gets cuter by the day. He eyes are still bright blue and he is getting a little bit more hair which is still medium brown. Allan and I just can't get enough of him. We love our little boy so much!