Family Pics

Sensitive by Nature

It has been awhile since I have written but it feels like the older Maddox gets, the busier he gets and the busier I get.  So Maddox is extremely active and busy but is still very affectionate and very much attached to me.  I have weaned him to one feeding a day (in the morning) and I’m glad that he has remained bonded to me and still likes to cuddle and be held.  He is drinking cow’s milk now but I have to put sugar and vanilla in it for him to drink it.  I am slowly decreasing the amount of both so eventually he will drink plain milk.  Maddox is still very picky and eats a hot dog for at least one meal every day.  He has lots of teeth now.  We used to joke that he has “shark teeth” but now he has regular teeth.  I think they might be growing in a little crooked and he definitely has a gap between his two front teeth but I think his smile is so adorable.  Plus, I was already planning on getting all my kids braces so it’s okay.  Maddox loves bikes and scooters and any time he sees one he tries to ride it until I have to pull him away.  He is one persistent little boy.  Maddox understands pretty much everything I say but still isn’t saying a whole lot.  He points a lot and screams a lot but no words.  I’m sure it will happen soon but I’m not as stressed about it anymore.  Maddox loves to dance, play outside, ride in the stroller, climb(on anything and everything), play the piano, read, play with Cuni, and he loves being chased.  He also loves swimming and his baths.  He has learned to put his head under and blow bubbles.  He has no fear and doesn’t seem to swallow water at all.  Maddox still struggles with being soft with people, animals and things.  He gets so excited sometimes and hits things or grabs them or throws them.  Everything he does is so rough and fast.  But when it’s his nap time, he goes right down.  He loves his pacifier and his blankie and is still a very good sleeper.  He sleeps in until about 8:30 or 9 and goes to bed at around the same time at night.  He also still takes a 2 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon.  I want to share a couple of the cute things Maddox has done recently:
- When I took out the Christmas decorations, I let him look at and touch my nativity statues.  When he held the baby Jesus for the first time, he immediately gave the baby a kiss.  He is so sensitive and affectionate by nature.  I love it!
- Maddox gets extremely offended when he hurts someone.  Anytime I say "Ow" or "Ouch" after he kicks me or climbs on me or knees me, he puts his hands over his mouth and falls to pieces.  He is very sensitive!
- Maddox has learned the word "share" so even when he really doesn't want to share, he does.  He'll hand his toy to the other person and then immediately try to take it back.  But at least technically he is sharing even if it's only for a second.
- Maddox loves giving his Daddy kisses after his bath.  After he gets out, I bundle him up in his towel and carry him over to his Dad.  Every time, he has a huge smile on his face.
- Maddox loves following me everywhere and has learned that he can wrap himself around my legs and I will drag him along with me.  He thinks it's so fun.
- Maddox is a little OCD when it comes to his pacifier.  Recently, he has been placing the pacifier strap in between the pacifier and his upper lip as he sucks but it has to be just right.  So he is constantly readjusting it before he is satisfied.
I'm sure I'm forgetting some of the other cute things he does.  I hope to never forget these precious moments that I get to witness and share with him.  He is our everything and we discover more love for him everyday.  I am a very happy mother!

Halloween

Our Tall Dancer

We have had a busy month and a lot of fun!  Maddox had his 15 month check-up with the doctor and apparently, he is really tall.  The nurse measured him two times and then the doctor measured him again because they thought he was just too tall that they must have been measuring him wrong.  So he is in the 100th percentile for height which of course, his dad is super happy about.  I have to admit I was happy too.  I don't know why but having a tall and strong boy makes me a little proud.  Maddox is 85th percentile in weight.  It does seem to explain why most people assume he is older than he is.  Anyway, Maddox is climbing on everything and it has been tough to keep him out of trouble.  He loves climbing on the kitchen chairs and table, the toilet, the couches, the beds, etc.  He is very strong and a tough kid.  A couple weekends ago, we went to Utah and visited Allan's family.  Maddox got to play with his cousins, Mayan and Hunter and see his Grandma and Grandpa.  He was such a good boy and loved hanging out with his uncle Brent.  I think Maddox felt comfortable around him because he looks a little like Allan.  While we were all watching football together, Maddox climbed onto the couch next to Brent and sat right next to him leaning his head against him.  Then, Maddox grabbed a Pringles can and was just sitting there eating the chips watching football.  It was really funny.  Maddox also got to dress up for Halloween and go to a ward Trunk or Treat while we were there.  He was Yoda and I was Princess Leia.  He looked so cute!  Maddox was a good little traveler too.  I was really worried about the flights because Maddox has a hard time sitting still and not running around.  But he did great on both flights.  This past weekend, my parents came into town and we had so much with them.  We spent Halloween over at Becky's and went trick or treating in her neighborhood.  We all dressed up as characters from Stars Wars again- Maddox as Yoda, Allan as Luke and Me as Princess Leia.  It was so fun watching Maddox walk up to each door with his cousins in his cute little costume holding his little pumpkin for candy.  It made me realize Maddox is not a baby anymore...he's a little boy.  It was a bittersweet realization.  Maddox adores his cousins and loves giving Becky's boys hugs and following them around.  He also loved walking down the street with Grandpa and holding his hand.  The day after Halloween, Friday, we all went to the zoo.  Maddox is starting to notice the animals a little more and was pointing at some of them.  But his favorite part was playing in the water.  So we spent some time under the tree house in the water and the sand and Maddox got really dirty and wet but he had so much fun.  Saturday, we celebrated my Dad's 60th birthday at Carrabba's.  It was a great time and we are so lucky to have family so close.  Maddox is still breastfeeding and his eating habits have not improved.  A couple weeks ago, I bought the all-beef hot dogs instead of the cheap ones I usually buy and Maddox didn't like them.  I also bought a different kind of Teddy Grahams and he refused to eat those too.  I decided a while ago not to fight with him and force him to eat things because I don't want eating to be a negative experience for him but it is very frustrating.  I just have to tell myself that if he were starving, he would eat so he must not be starving.  We have discovered Maddox's favorite thing to do and his best talent- dancing.  Maddox loves to dance!  Anytime he hears music and pretty much any kind of music, he starts turning in circles and doing little squats bouncing up and down.  He is happiest when there is music on and we are all dancing.  He loves it!  My favorite part of the day is when Maddox and I dance together.  He is the best!

15 months old

Above: Maddy's funny faces while watching TV

So Maddox is almost 15 months old and time seems to be slowing down a bit which is good.  I feel like the first year of his life flew by.  These last three months have been nice.  Maddox is getting better at communicating and is understanding a lot of what we say and do.  He waves, dances, points, brings me books to read, shakes his head (a lot) when he doesn't like something or doesn't want to do something, gives great kisses, throws balls, walks Cuni, gives Cuni treats, gives high fives, climbs on the couches, plays games on the Ipad and computer, and screams and yells when he is happy and when he is mad.  So still no talking other than Mama, Dada and he now can say "go" to Cuni when we open the door for Cuni to go to the bathroom.  But Maddox understands a lot of words like: no, tiempo, besos, bye-bye, fuera, salimos, vamos, night-night and lots of other words.  I know he will be a little slower because of the two languages but I'm trying to stick with it and not get worried over the delay.  Maddox loves his baths and loves swimming.  When we take our daily walk, I always try to avoid walking by the pool because without fail, Maddox tries to open the gate and then throws a little tantrum when I pull him away to continue on our way.  Maddox is still very active and never stops moving unless he is sleeping.  He goes and goes and goes and moves really fast.  But he is a very good boy and just has lots of energy.  The other day when we went swimming, Maddox wanted to get out of the main pool and go into the hot tub so I let him.  Then he wanted to go back into the main pool, then back again.  He was having so much fun going back and forth and felt like such a big boy getting out of the pools by himself.  I subbed for the 5-year-olds in primary last Sunday and took Maddox in with me.  He loved being with the other kids and sat up to the table with the other kids in his little chair.  He was so well-behaved and just loved belonging and being part of the group.  It was so cute.  Maddox definitely loves other kids and always laughs or smiles at any kid that he sees whether we are in the grocery store, at church or anywhere else.  Maddox is down to one 3-hour nap and goes to bed around 8:30.  He has been waking up earlier and earlier.  So no more sleeping in for Mama.  I was lucky for the first year but no more waking up at 10.  It's okay though because we get to play with Daddy before he goes to work.  Now I just have to adjust my bedtime which hasn't happened yet so I have been a little tired.  Maddox is still a picky eater.  Still pasta, hot dogs, toast, yogurt, fruit but only fresh fruit, and sometimes applesauce.  I keep telling myself that since I am breastfeeding it's okay that he doesn't eat veggies or a variety but eventually, I will have to figure out how to get him to overcome his finicky eating.  Just not today.  At least, he is doing well with a fork and spoon.  He is learning how to use both and loves feeding himself.  Maddox is still the love of our lives and continues to be our everything.  He is so much fun and although a handful, he is so sweet and loving.  It's a huge blessing having a child that expresses his love for his parents so well.  We are truly blessed.  

Our Iittle "terremoto"

So Maddox has earned a new nickname: "terremoto" which means earthquake in Spanish.  I almost think "tornado" would be more appropriate or something that destroys everything in its path incredibly quickly.  Needless to say, it has been very difficult to take Maddox to other people's houses or new places.  He is just so curious and now that he's mobile, he's incredibly fast.  After I remove him from one potential path of destruction, I turn around and he has found another.  And I should probably clarify, Maddox has no impure intentions.  He simply loves touching, throwing, hitting and grabbing things.  It's curiosity and discovery that motivate him.  We went to my friend's baby blessing last Sunday and then to her parents' house afterward.  During our one-hour stay, Maddox turned on their gas stove, opened a bird cage several times(no, the bird didn't escape thank goodness but all the other kids just looked at Maddox like they were jealous that he dared do what they all wanted to do), opened the door on their very tightly-shut entertainment center and pushed buttons on all the devices, climbed up the stairs about 20 times (even though he hasn't learned how to go down the stairs yet), tried to escape out the front door every time someone came in or out and the list goes on.  And this all happened while we were watching him like a hawk.  It's amazing how much energy Maddox has and how he can outlast us and outsmart us sometimes.  It's to the point where I asked Allan if maybe Maddox has a hyperactive disorder or something where he has too much energy.  I know it's my first kid so I just don't get it but I am adjusting...slowly.  And even though it is stressful to take him places, I am still loving every minute of motherhood.  I look at it as trying to cage a wild animal.  Of course, it's going to be difficult but when we get home or whenever we are in a child-proof place, I let him "out of his cage" and let him go free.  I love watching him run all around in the gym at church or when we take Cuni for a walk and he just wanders wherever he wants.  Recently, he has been putting a clear plastic mixing bowl over his head and doing laps around the house.  He thinks it's so fun.  Then the other day he tried putting one of my shirts over his head and face and did the same but ran into a couple of walls and furniture so that didn't last too long.  He went back to the bowl and did a couple more laps.  Maddox has learned how to take Cuni on walks.  I can't say Cuni is too excited about it but Maddox loves it.  We go on a walk almost every day and Maddox gets to hold the leash the whole time.  Sometimes, he gets distracted and wants to play with rocks or bushes and I have to hurry him along.  Afterall, we are walking out in 100 plus degree heat.  The heat does not seem to bother or slow down Maddox at all though.  He loves being outside and he loves being a big boy and getting to hold the leash.  Maddox is still a picky eater.  He will only eat fresh fruit, pasta, hot dogs, and toast.  That is literally his whole diet.  But I am still breastfeeding him so he is getting plenty of nutrition.  We all got sick last week and luckily, Maddox only got a little sick.  We had bad colds and mine turned into a sinus infection.  I would say that was the hardest week of motherhood.  I had no energy and my head felt like it was going to explode.  I felt bad that I couldn't play with Maddox or take him out.  All I wanted to do was sleep and I felt too weak to do anything.  But he is such a good boy and just played with his toys and read his books.  He loves his books.  Something else Maddox loves is hitting.  I've been trying to teach him that he shouldn't hit people but he just doesn't get it.  It's his way of communicating.  When I was sick, I laid out a blanket in the middle of the floor with a pillow and laid there while Maddox played around me.  I figured it was the least I could do and that way, I would still be somewhat "accessible."  Maddox kept hitting me right in the head.  I think after I kept saying "Ouwee" and "No" he realized that I didn't like it.  But he still hits me on my chest when he wants to nurse.  And he hits the couch when he wants the remote or my water bottle either because he thinks hitting the couch will move those items closer to him or because he knows that I understand his hitting language.  I hope that eventually he realizes that hitting isn't a good form of communication.  Maddox doesn't seem to be ready to talk yet.  He still says "Mama" and "Dada" but nothing else.  Maddox has learned to love his naps.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he only gets his pacifier when he is napping.  But it has become very easy to put Maddox down.  I just turn on his fan and humidifier and lay him down with his pacifier and his blankie.  He smiles and lays there and eventually falls asleep.  Maddox is still very affectionate and loves to give me hugs and kisses and loves being held.  It makes me so happy that even with how busy and active he is, Maddox will still walk up to me and hit me letting me know that he wants his Mama to hold him.  It melts my heart and assures me that Maddox will always be my little sweetheart.          

Busy Boy

Last Saturday, I left Maddox with a babysitter for the first time.  He did really well.  And surprisingly, I was not worried about him.  Allan and I went to the temple so we were gone for almost 4 hours.  Maddox napped for a couple hours and then played with the babysitter for the rest of the time.  I was so proud of him.  He didn't cry and wasn't as shy as I thought he would be.  I'm starting to think that he only acts shy when I'm holding him or when I'm around.  I don't really get it but it's not a big deal.  Anyway, Maddox has learned to love music and dancing.  Anytime a song comes on or anytime I start dancing, he will start swaying from side to side and bouncing.  It's really cute.  He is still clapping and I think he uses clapping as a form of communication.  Sometimes, when he is done eating and full, he will clap and sometimes, when I'm changing his diaper, he will clap to let me know that he doesn't like laying down and wants to stand up.  It's kind of funny but I'm glad he has figured out how to let me know how he is feeling.  Maddox does use words like Mama and Dada but no other words yet.  I really need to work on talking to him more.  I read books to him everyday and I point to things and say the name for them but he just doesn't seem interested in repeating me and doesn't seem to care.  Maddox is extremely busy and curious and always seems to get into trouble.  It's getting more difficult to take him places like restaurants, church, and other people's houses.  All he wants to do is walk around and explore touching everything along the way.  He refuses to just sit still and let Allan or I hold him.  I totally get it though because he loves being independent and when we're in a new place, he just gets so excited.  Maddox is really good with other kids and loves giving them kisses and patting them on their heads.  He always laughs at other kids and tries to play with them.  It really makes me want another baby.  I know Maddox would be such a good brother and he would have so much fun playing with someone other than me all day.  I have been trying to be more accessible recently and have been sitting on the floor instead of the couch.  I find that Maddox gets a little fussy if I'm sitting on the couch because he wants up but I won't let him just climb all over the couch because we have hard floors and I don't want him falling.  Anyway, if I'm on the floor, Maddy can give me hugs and kisses or bring me a toy or a book and it just makes him happier.  I've also been trying to not use the word "no" unless he's doing something that could hurt him or someone else.  I got to a point where I was overusing the word and it was losing its significance to him.  Also, I don't like spending the whole day telling Maddox no.  At his age, he wants to do what I do and what Allan does and he wants to play with things that aren't toys just for that reason- they aren't his toys.  I'm trying to let him do as much as possible without completely destroying our house and I'm also trying to take him to the museum and swimming at least once a week.  He's such a good boy and I love watching his mind work.  Maddox is getting so smart and one of his tricks is that he will drop or throw a toy somewhere that he's not supposed to be just so that he has an excuse to be in that place to go get his toy.  He does that with trying to get past the chair barrier to the dog food and he does it with the bathrooms and the bathtub.  It's hilarious because I know exactly what he is thinking.  I am so in love with him and am so happy he is such an easy-going kid.  

A Stubborn Side

We have had a busy week.  We went to San Diego for a little family reunion and Maddox got to meet his cousins.  Missy's girls love Maddox and were very sweet with him.  He also got to play with Becky's boys and had a lot of fun with them too.  Maddox loves the beach!  He loved the sand and was covered it in from head to toe every day we went.  He doesn't seem to mind the taste of sand and would repeatedly put it in his mouth or put sand toys in his mouth.  I'm sure he ate several handfuls each day.  But it kept him busy and he was such a good boy.  He wasn't a huge fan of the water but probably because it was cold.  He slept pretty well the nights we were there.  Overall, we had a great time and I feel like Maddox is finally at the point where he can adjust to being somewhere new easily.  He took good naps, slept well and was happy.
Maddox has decided to be even more picky and now will not eat fruit cocktail, peaches, cherries, or pears.  He does like bananas and has discovered oranges.  We went to a buffet while in San Diego and he ate about 10 orange slices.  Maddox still loves yogurt, hot dogs, pasta and watermelon.  Today, Maddox has shown me just how stubborn he is.  Over a span of 3 hours, Maddox and I had a nonstop battle of the wills.  Cuni's water and food is in the kitchen in the corner.  I have the table and chairs set up so that they create a barrier from wall to wall so Maddox can't get through.  Just in the last couple of weeks, Maddox has learned how to crawl through the legs of the chairs.  So today, he was determined to get to Cuni's food and water.  I kept telling him "no" and would pull him back through the chairs over and over again.  After about an hour of this, I decided maybe just holding him by the food and water and letting him see it up close would take away the novelty and his curiosity but I think it just made him want it more.  After another hour, I switched the chairs onto their sides and over the next hour, switched them about ten different times since Maddox is incredibly strong and can move them, lift them, and pull them to get through.  Needless to say, it has been a long day.  I am shocked at how stubborn and persistent Maddox is.  I have never seen this side of him.  Our battle ended with me finally arranging the chairs in a way that Maddox couldn't disarrange and him screaming and me putting him down for a nap.  On the bright side, Maddox seems to have inherited the part of Allan that makes him such a hard worker.  When he wants something, he goes after it and does not give up.  I, on the other hand am more of a procrastinator and tend to give up rather easily on things that aren't that important.  You would think that touching dog food and splashing a little bit of water wouldn't be worth a 3 hour battle but apparently, it is worth it to Maddox.  I love my little boy and I can't believe how fast he is growing up and how much of a little boy he is now.  He is showing us his personality and although stubborn and persistent, he is still loving and affectionate.  Each time I told him "no" and pulled him away from the dog food, he would cry and still let me hold him and hug him.  He doesn't hold grudges and forgives me immediately for not giving him what he wants.  Maddox is still my little sweetheart!

Birthday Questionnaire

1. What is your favorite color? Green (I think Maddox looks so cute in green and his blankie is green)
2. What is your favorite toy? His new house with shapes on the roof and anything that isn't a toy. Maddox loves blinds, remotes, phones, trashcans, toilets, cords, and the piano.
3. What is your favorite fruit? Watermelon
4. What is your favorite tv show? Dora La Exploradora
5. What is your favorite movie? Toy Story
6. What is your favorite thing to wear? Nothing! Maddox loves being naked.
7. What is your favorite animal? Dog, Maddox loves Cuni and loves his talking puppy (stuffed animal).
8. What is your favorite song? Any song with a beat... Maddox loves to dance!
9. What is your favorite book? Baby Animals and This Little Piggy
10. Who is your best friend? Mommy (or at least I like to think so)
11. What is your favorite snack? Veggie Straws
12. What is your favorite drink? Juice
13. What is your favorite breakfast? Yogurt and blueberry waffle
14. What is your favorite lunch? Hotdogs and watermelon
15. What is your favorite dinner? Pasta
16. What is your favorite game? this little piggy, dancing with Mommy, playing with Daddy
17. What is your favorite thing to play outside? swimming
18. What is your favorite holiday? N/A
19. What do you sleep with at night? His green blankie and his pacifier
20. What do you want to be when you grow up? I would say a lifeguard. Maddox loves to swim and loves the water. He also is very compassionate and affectionate and incredibly strong.

1 year old birthday

Maddox is one and officially walking.  He decided he'd rather walk than crawl on his birthday.  He is already a really good walker.  He had his doctor appointment on his birthday as well and had 3 shots.  I felt so bad for him.  He hates the doctor's office now because he can remember and recognize it as the place they poke him and make him cry.  Maddox is such a good boy though and only cried for a minute.  On Wednesday, his birthday, I made his favorite food for dinner- pasta and I made a strawberry shortcake since he loves strawberries.  It was just the 3 of us and was the perfect family birthday dinner.  Saturday, we had people over and swam and barbecued.   I made a giraffe cake that was shaped like the number one and it turned out pretty cute.  We had some of our good friends over, some families from our ward, and Becky and her family.  Maddox got some really cute clothes and fun toys even though I told everyone not to bring gifts.  It was really fun though and everyone adores Maddox.  I can't believe he is already one.  The time has flown by. 

Maddox is getting very picky and will now only eat peaches, watermelon and strawberries.  He used to like all sorts of fruit and I could just give him fruit cocktail.  So everyday he eats the same thing.  Yogurt and a waffle for breakfast, hot dog and peaches for lunch, and pasta for dinner.  I try to throw in more fruit and sometimes a baby food whenever I can just so that I feel like he's getting some kind of nutrition.  But he is still breastfeeding which makes me feel a little better about his eating habits.  Maddox has become more obedient lately.  He understands what "no" means and when I say it, he usually will stop and move on to something else.  I think he knows that if he doesn't listen, I will physically remove him from whatever he's doing anyway so he might as well do it.  He has been sleeping really well.  However, when he has had a busy day with friends or swimming, Maddox will wake up crying a couple times during the night but go right back to sleep.  I have to admit that I anticipate him waking up every morning to nurse and come into our bed.  I just miss him and I love nursing him in bed and sleeping next to him.  He is so wiggly and active now that when he's awake, he's never still.  So when he's asleep and nursing, we snuggle and I love it.  Maddox loves watching videos of himself and seeing pictures of himself.  I don't know if it's because he likes babies or if it's because he knows it's him.  Maddox also loves mirrors and still loves to read books.

We have been so blessed to have Maddox in our lives.  Allan and I always say that we didn't really know true happiness until we became parents.  I am so grateful for him and the person that he is becoming.  I am starting to see him develop into a little boy and although it's difficult and sad for me, it's also extremely exciting watching him progress and learn.  He is a sweet, loving, obedient and affectionate little boy.  He is shy and will often put his head down and his hands in his mouth when someone is looking at him or talking to him.  But he will always smile.  He is friendly and loves babies and other little kids.  I have had the best year of my life and I know it only gets better.    

Photo Shoot as a 1 year old

Grateful

Wednesday marks the one year anniversary of the birth of our little boy.  As the day approaches, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.  I feel so honored that I was chosen to be Maddox's mother.  I feel thankful for every moment I have spent with him.  There have been many precious moments when I have observed him enthralled with a book, turning the pages quietly.  Or when our eyes have met for several minutes while I nursed him or rocked him to sleep.  Although he can't understand my words yet, I hope my love for him is loud and clear.  I hope that when he feels my heart beat, he knows that it is filled with love for him.

Maddox is walking... a little bit.  He can walk but he chooses not to.  It's actually a little frustrating because I keep trying to help him by standing him up and then walking away, calling him to walk to me.  But he plops down immediately and crawls to me.  I think he's a little on the lazy side.  Plus, he is one fast crawler.  It's actually amazing watching him crawl across the room oftentimes faster than I can walk.  He usually just walks around the house using the walls and furniture as support so crawling is his last resort.  I'm sure eventually he will trust himself enough to let go.  Maddox still loves pasta and fruit and he still loves books.  He has been obsessed with the toilet recently which really grosses me out.  He has stuck his hand into the water a couple of times because he knows how to lift the toilet seat up.  I have been trying to keep him out of the bathrooms but it's hard when I need to do my hair or brush my teeth.  If I lock him out, he just pounds on the door and cries until I let him in.  I usually solve the problem by not doing my hair.  It's amazing how having a kid forces you to prioritize and figure out what things are truly necessary.  I've discovered that a shower and brushing my teeth are about all I get.  Maddox is still doing well at nights.  He wasn't feeling well and had a fever a couple nights ago and woke up several times.  But other than that, he has been sleeping until about 5 or 6 in the morning.  It's been really nice.  Maddox loves his daddy.  Allan always seems to get him to laugh uncontrollably.  It's the cutest thing watching them play.  And of course, Maddox says "dada" all the time.  I think he really knows what it means too.  He says "mama" too and he knows what that means but he only says it when he's crying.  Right now, Daddy is the "fun" parent and I'm the one that provides the food and comfort.  It's ok though.  I don't mind.  I'm so thankful for our little family.  And this week, I'm especially grateful for this past year of our lives.      

Sleeping through the night...at last!

I have to admit... I was right.  I know that a lot of people and a lot of other parents believe in the Cry it Out Method, the Interval Training Method, the "Close the door and walk away" Method and that's fine.  As for me, I believe that when the time is right, it will happen.  In the past, when I would try to sleep-train Maddox, it was miserable.  He was unhappy and I was unhappy and Daddy was unhappy and we were all sleep-deprived.  There was no progress and I always gave up after 3 or 4 nights.  But this time, the timing felt right and Maddox was ready.  Four nights ago, I decided I would stop nursing him at night and teach him to sleep in his own bed.  5:00 would be the earliest I would nurse him and let him into our bed.  When he would wake up, I decided I would just rock him back to sleep and put him back in his bed.  So night 1 was rough.  Maddox woke up 4 or 5 times and cried for about 30 minutes each time.  Night 2 was better.  He only woke up 2 or 3 times.  Night 3 he woke up once and last night- night 4... HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!  I was so excited and so proud of him.  Now, I know it's only one night so I am hoping that by writing this I'm not jinxing myself.  We'll see how tonight goes.  But contrary to my previous attempts, this time I am seeing progress.  I nursed him at 6:00 this morning and let him sleep with me for the rest of the morning.  I don't mind the co-sleeping at all.  In fact, the only reason I am sleep-training him is so that he learns he doesn't need to nurse all night.  And so that eventually I can move him into his own room probably within the next couple of months.  Although, I find myself feeling a lot of anxiety whenever I think about him sleeping in another room and not right next to me.  But for the sake of our marriage, I think it has to happen eventually and probably sooner rather than later.  Well after that big news, I feel like there isn't much more to say.  Maddox is still really close to walking on his own.  I'm sure it will happen any day now.  He knows who Cuni is and when I ask him where Cuni is, he looks at him.  No, he's not pointing yet and he's not clapping either but hey, at least he's understanding a little bit of what's going on around him.  Maddox is going through an awkward phase with his hair.  As his mother, I think he is beautiful and that includes thinking his hair is beautiful.  But to the world, he doesn't have good hair.  It's really long in the back and has a weird curly wavy thing going on but only in the back.  On top, his hair is straight and sparse.  So today we went swimming and after the sunscreen and chlorine, his hair was not looking its best.  Allan brought to my attention his hair issues and that's when I realized all of this.  But luckily, it's just a phase and I think it's because he is transitioning from his baby hair to little boy hair.  I still think he is gorgeous.  Anyway, Maddox is still a big eater.  The other day he ate a whole can of Spaghetti-o's and he can eat fruit and pasta for days.  We had his first experience in a bouncy house at a little girl's birthday party and he hated it.  He was really scared.  But I'm sure he will learn to like bouncy houses even though his dad wanted to teach him to like it now.  It's funny how the never-ending battle between Allan and me is my propensity to baby Maddox a little too much and Allan's propensity to toughen him up a little too much.  I'm sure we'll figure it out and find the right balance someday.  But for now, Maddox is my baby.  

Seconds Away...

Maddox is seconds away from walking. Every time I let go of his hand he stands there for a couple seconds on his own before realizing I'm not holding his hand anymore. Then he plops to the floor on his bum. It's like my mom said- he won't walk until he trusts himself even though he CAN walk. It's exciting though watching him learn. Maddy goes all around the house walking along furniture and pushing his toy. He has recently discovered how to throw things particularly food. He also loves closing or more specifically slamming doors shut. From day one Maddox has loved looking out our patio door. Unfortunately for both of us, there are blinds in the way. So of course, Maddox has smashed, ripped off, bitten off, and bent the blinds piece by piece. A couple days ago I decided to try and teach my 11 month old the consequences of destroying blinds. It just seemed like he knew what he was doing because he definitely understands what "no" means and each time I would say "no" he would just look at me and smile and keep playing with the blinds. Then when I would get up to remove him from the blinds, he would almost get excited and start hitting at the blinds faster and harder. So I thought I would teach him that it's not a game anymore. After putting him in "tiempo" or "time-out" several times which consisted of me keeping him in a sitting position facing a corner, nothing seemed to change. Maybe I was doing it wrong but more than likely, he's too young. Plus, I felt like a mean mom. After all, the blinds are right at eye and hand level for him and very accessible. And he definitely didn't seem to understand why I was making him sit in a corner. He of course didn't like it and cried but he looked pretty confused. I can admit that my first attempt at discipline was a complete failure. My approach so far and still is to remove from his access anything he's not supposed to play with or destroy and the rest is fair game. It's just easier that way. I hate feeling like I have spent my whole day saying "no" which is how I felt after the whole "tiempo" debacle. Anyway, Maddox is still enjoying books and his cartoons-Dora. He is getting a bigger appetite and loves fruit cocktail and spaghetti-O's. He has a ton of teeth now and is still biting everything. Maddy has been paying a lot more attention to Cuni (to Cuni's dismay) and has been getting a little better at being soft with him. Maddox loves swimming and his baths. He also loves playing the piano with Mommy. He is very vocal but doesn't seem to be close to talking. He screams and grunts and babbles baby talk but nothing coherent. Maddox has also learned to dance. It's the cutest thing. Whenever he hears a song he likes he starts bouncing and swaying from side to side. I love it! Well that's all that's really new. Hopefully in my next post I will be announcing that Maddy is walking.

Mr. Personality

Maddy got sick about a week ago and today is the first day he is feeling better and back to his normal happy self. He had Roseola. It was very stressful for me because he had a fever for about five days straight and he didn’t seem to be improving. That was really his only major symptom other than a decreased appetite which in itself was stressful. I took him to the doctor mostly to make sure it wasn’t an ear infection. The doctor said it was most likely a virus and to wait it out. Finally, a couple days ago he got a weird rash on his back and neck. After talking to Missy, I googled "fever rash" and discovered Roseola. It was such a relief finally figuring out what he had. During the past week and as I listened to Maddy fussing and crying throughout the day and night, I realized how much I love and missed his personality that I often take for granted. I thought that I would make a list:

•I love how he makes a “kah” sound over and over again when I let him play with something new.

•I love how he sits on the floor and spins himself around in circles when he is playing with a fun toy.

•I love how he wants to give me kisses right after he hurts himself.

•I love how he looks over at me and smiles right before he is about to do something naughty.

•I love how he loves books and can sit for hours turning the pages.

•I love how ticklish he is on his feet and thighs and tummy and neck.

•I love how he is so curious and gets stuck in all kinds of weird places and positions.

•I love how he crawls inhumanly fast when he is going for something he isn’t supposed to play with.

•I love how he looks out the window of the patio door and watches the birds and bangs on the door wanting to go outside.

•I love how he bangs on the door after Daddy leaves.

•I love how he smothers his face into his blankie before his naps and before bedtime.

•I love how he reaches for me in the middle of the night and rolls closer to me so we are always touching.

The list goes on and obviously a lot of these things are only endearing to me because I am his mother. But I realize how special he is and how lucky I am to be able to know him in a way that no one else ever will. I love Maddox with all my heart and I am so grateful to be his mommy.

Our little bookworm

Maddy is almost 10 months old and still growing. He has displayed a love for books recently and when he isn't crawling or walking along furniture, his favorite thing to do is sit and turn the pages of his books. It is so special to see him sit quietly and take a book in his hands and turn the pages. I can't believe how smart he is and how fast he learns. It's amazing. Maddy has also been trying to stand on his own. He has been letting go of the couch and the chairs and standing for several seconds before he falls on his bum. Maddox is getting a very big appetite and eating a variety of foods. He likes toast or a waffle for breakfast and of course he still loves cheese, yogurt and fruit. But he also eats whatever we are having for dinner so lasagna, enchiladas, quesadillas, pasta, meatballs, etc. So I am hoping he is not a picky eater and continues to like everything we give him. I have noticed that Maddox now understands what "no" means. Not to say that he listens but he definitely knows that when I say "no" he is supposed to stop whatever he is doing. Unfortunately, he also thinks it is funny when Mom has to go get him and take him away from whatever he is doing. Once taken away he then gets mad and being as persistent as he is, goes back to whatever it was he was doing. This cycle takes up a large part of our day. But I don't mind because I know he is exploring and learning and eventually, he will listen when Mom says "no"... hopefully. Maddox has been saying "mama" a lot especially when he is fussy but it is very endearing to hear him cry for me. Maddox loves swimming and playing with Cuni and Cuni has learned that he is not allowed to run away from Maddox so he just lays there while Maddox pulls at his hair and hits him. But I am teaching Maddox "soft" or "suave" so he is doing a little better with Cuni. Maddox also loves to go for walks and ride in his stroller. Maddox is a very happy little boy and very affectionate. He has a thing for girls with dark long hair. He will go to anyone that has long black hair and is very affectionate with them. It's really funny. Although he has become a little shy and when a stranger talks to him or looks at him he puts his head down and looks away. He is also very scared of the missionaries for some reason. Every time they have come over for dinner, he starts crying and gets really scared when they first walk in. I have a feeling he is going to be shy. Allan and I were both shy as children so it wouldn't surprise me. Maddox gets cuter by the day. He eyes are still bright blue and he is getting a little bit more hair which is still medium brown. Allan and I just can't get enough of him. We love our little boy so much!

A Temper & Tantrums

Maddox is only 9 and a half months and he has already displayed a very persistent personality.  When he wants something that he can't have, he does not give up.  Maddox loves to play with and chew on cords; all kinds of cords, computer cords, TV cords, internet cords, phone charger cords, etc.  No matter how we try to hide them or how high we place them, he keeps after them.  Maddox has also discovered Cuni's food and water.  Once he realizes that he can't have the thing he wants, he throws a tantrum.  He screams and cries and throws his head back.  I was so shocked the first time he did it but now I am used to it and I just try to protect his head from hitting the hardwood floor.  But last night was quite an episode.  We went to the church to watch Allan play basketball and Maddy fell in love with the court.  All he wanted to do was crawl on the basketball court and he wanted to crawl toward all the guys playing basketball.  It was like he wanted to play with them.  Obviously, he couldn't crawl onto the court while they were playing so I would grab him and hold him back.  He was furious!  Maddox screamed and cried and threw his head back.  Once he calmed down, he would try to crawl back onto the court.  This cycle lasted the whole time we were there until finally I took him home.  In between games, I would let him crawl on the court and he was so happy!  It was really cute.  It seems he is already taking a liking to sports.  Maddox has gotten a little better about eating.  I figured out that he likes baby food plain without cereal mixed in so I have been feeding him that.  Maddox had his 9 month check up and all is well.  No ear infections, his umbilical hernia has healed and he is big, strong and healthy.  Maddy also got to go on our girls' trip to Vegas.  He had a lot of fun.  My mom, all my sisters and I went to Vegas for a couple of days.  We went shopping and swimming and ate out.  It was so much fun and Maddy was a good sport.  He got a little restless on the ride home but overall, he was great.  Maddy is so affectionate and loving.  It is so nice that he loves my mom and sisters and will give them hugs and let them all hold him.  Anyway, Maddox is doing great in spite of his temper tantrums.  His two top teeth are growing in so he has been a little fussy but he is still such a happy baby.  I always have to keep my eye on him so he definitely keeps me on my toes.  He is a very busy and curious little boy!

9 months old already!

Maddox had his first Easter and his first visit from the Easter bunny. He loved the eggs! Maddox turns 9 months old in 3 days. I can't believe it. He is crawling really well now and pulling himself up onto chairs, couches and beds. I can tell he is very anxious to walk. He definitely prefers to be on his feet standing. I am realizing how "un-baby-proofed" our house is now that he is so mobile. Maddox is also becoming a finicky eater. I can't seem to figure out what he likes or doesn't like and when he is or isn't hungry. He still has a big appetite when it comes to nursing but he refuses his cereal and baby food. I'm assuming he is asserting his independence because he only seems to eat table food that I let him feed himself. So lately, I have been giving him cheese, little bits of meat, veggies, fruit, grilled cheese, waffles, etc. Stuff that he can pick up and put into his mouth all by himself. The problem is he takes a really long time to eat and sometimes just plays. My concern is that he isn't getting enough to eat so sometimes, I put the food in his mouth just to help him out a little but he gets really offended. Needless to say, I spend a lot of my day "feeding" Maddox. I am debating as to whether or not I should start feeding him three meals instead of two. Maddox is not showing any signs of starvation and is still a very large little boy. He is extremely solid though and almost muscular. His legs are really firm but massive. Maddox is wearing 18 month old size clothing already and some of the clothes are a little snug. He is also wearing size 4 diapers. The other day, my friends mentioned on Facebook how her 2 or 3 year old daughter wears size 4 diapers. Maddox is also a very good snuggler. He loves giving hugs and kisses and still loves sleeping with Mommy and Daddy. But he is getting better at not eating as much at night. I am optimistic that eventually he will outgrow nursing at night. Maddox got to spend some time with his Grandma and Grandpa Morrill. They came to visit a couple of weeks ago. Maddox was very sweet and affectionate with them as he always is. It's very nice to have such an affectionate and loving little boy. His hugs and kisses mean the world to me! Maddox's first top tooth just poked through yesterday. I can't believe he is going to have top teeth. He is growing up way too fast. Time has flown by and we sure have had fun! We love Maddox so much!

8 Month Photo Session

8 months old

Maddox has been kind of crawling. He gets around very easily but is not yet officially crawling. He uses his arms a lot and likes to stand more than anything. He is trying to pull himself up onto furniture and likes to get up on all fours but instead of his knees he gets up on his feet. It's really funny because I can tell he really wants to walk. Last week, Maddox had a really rough day and I could tell he was in pain. I took him to the doctor the next day and the poor thing had two ear infections and a ruptured ear drum. I felt so bad for him. He is doing much better. The medicine that he has to take is a stronger antibiotic than the last one and apparently, it does not have a very good taste. The first couple times, he gagged himself and threw it all up so now I have to wrestle him to hold him down, plug his nose and blow in his face until he swallows. It is quite the ordeal. He doesn't cry but he will try to wiggle away from me and refuse to open his mouth and then spit it out back into my face. Anyway, Maddox is eating better and loves table food. He likes string cheese and chicken and pretty much anything I'm eating. Maddox has also become a very affectionate and snuggly little guy. He loves giving hugs especially when he is tired. Allan and I went through the temple with Camilla several weeks ago and Aaron watched Maddy outside. He hadn't taken a nap and was super tired and when we came out of the temple, he snuggled Camilla and laid his head on her shoulder. It was so cute! Then he did the same thing to the RS president a couple Sundays ago when I had to say the closing prayer. He loves girls with dark hair! Maddox has also been sleeping with us still. He is so fun to snuggle and I finally got Allan to admit that he likes sleeping next to Maddy so at least we are all on the same page. He is doing better at not eating so much in the night and I think within a couple months he will hopefully be sleeping through the night. I know that Maddox just has a strong need to be touched and feel someone close to him and that's why he loves sleeping with us. Maddox and I have been swimming a lot because it is getting really hot. He loves the water! He plays in his little floaty or on the top step and plays and plays until he is too tired to play anymore. He loves playing with his blocks and his piano and his books but most of all he loves playing with anything that he is not supposed to play with. He has incredibly fast hands and grabs everything he can. He is also developing a temper and when I take something away from him he gets mad and does his angry cry. Maddox is pretty tough though. As he has become more mobile he has bumped his head a couple times. He usually just stops and turns around to look at me and gives me a sad face and then I tell him he's ok and he just goes right back to playing. Sometimes, I will give him a hug though. Maddox is getting so big and has been outgrowing a lot of him clothes. He is wearing all 12 month and 18 month clothes now. Well, of course I could go on and on about how much I love Maddox but I think it's clear... he is my everything. I am still obsessed with him and love him more and more every day. I love him more than I thought was possible. He is such an angel!

Stranger Danger & Separation Anxiety

Maddox has been doing really well. He is off of his antibiotic for his ear infection and has now moved on to teething including drooling and a runny nose. I think his top two teeth are coming in. He isn't quite crawling yet or at least not in the right direction. He gets up on all fours and then crawls backwards which of course frustrates him since he is moving in the opposite direction. It's actually really cute watching him make his way around the room going backwards. I'm sure eventually he will get the hang of it and like his doctor said, "bigger babies crawl a little later." He also has developed into quite a picky eater. He will only eat fruit and sweet foods. He hates vegetables and meats and refuses to eat them. I have even tried sweet potatoes, I've tried mixing vegetables with fruit but he can tell. He must have a very sensitive pallet. If a non-sweet food goes into his mouth, he makes a really funny face and shakes his head. Then he gags himself until he has completely spit out the food. He's very dramatic about it. So, I will keep trying to introduce new foods until he gets used to the texture and taste. I really don't want him to be picky. Maddox has been doing a little better at night. He still likes to nurse a lot at night but I don't mind. He is such a sweetheart. Maddy has recently become scared of strangers. An elderly female Walmart employee decided to get all up in his face while we were grocery shopping and Maddy did not like it. He started crying and I could tell he was nervous and scared. And the same thing happened when we went to dinner at the Spencers', a couple from our ward. Sister Spencer made him a little nervous and he started crying. I know it's normal so I just make sure that he sees me and I hold him when there are strangers around. Maddy also has become very aware of whether or not I am in the room. On some days, he gets very attached to me and just wants me to hold him. If I walk away, he cries and gets his feelings hurt. After a full day of this, it gets very frustrating but I just remind myself that he is an innocent little baby and needs extra security. Afterall, I have spent almost every second with him since he was born. I love how close I feel to him and I love that I get to be with him all day. I feel so blessed that I have such a great husband that works so hard so that I can be a stay-at-home mom. I love my family!

His Happy Self Again...

Well it all makes sense now. Maddox had his doctor's appointment for his 6 month shots and he had RSV and an ear infection. So I'm pretty sure that the reason he was being so fussy all those nights was because of his ear infection. I had a feeling that something was going on but it's so hard to know. The RSV was pretty evident by his coughing and runny nose. Luckily, he didn't get a fever or diarrhea but his cough was really bad. I could tell it was painful because he would cry a little every time he coughed and it would wake him up at night. For the last week and a half, I have been taking hot showers with him in the mornings and nights hoping that the steam would help his congestion. The doctor gave him an antibiotic for his ear infection but nothing for the RSV because he was already improving on his own. Almost overnight, Maddy reverted back to his normal happy self. I was so relieved! But also, I felt bad that he was fussy and miserable because he was uncomfortable and in pain. Anyway, for now on, if he isn't acting himself, I will assume that something is wrong physically and take him to the doctor sooner. Maddy is now 7 months and still growing like a weed. He weighs 20 lbs. He still isn't crawling yet but seems to be trying. He gets up on his hands and knees sometimes and seems to move around the floor but mostly by rolling or scooting. He has also started "talking" and saying "mamamama" and "bababababa" over and over again. It is so much fun to hear him getting close to saying real words! He also still loves his feet and still puts them in his mouth (I bathe him everyday and try to keep his feet clean). Maddox has also started giving kisses but they are always very open-mouthed. I don't mind though because I think it is the sweetest thing in the world when he leans in to touch his mouth to mine. He has also learned the meaning of "no" or at least understands when I'm telling him to not do something like bite me while breastfeeding or spitting out his baby food for fun. He doesn't seem to get sad when I say no, instead he gets a little mad. It's really cute but at least he is learning to listen. Maddox still thinks Cuni is hilarious and loves to watch him walk around the room which is rare since Cuni is extremely lazy. Maddy is still night nursing like a champ. He stocks up and eats every couple hours during the night. And then during the day, he only nurses about 3 or 4 times. It's ok though because I have come to terms with the fact that it's just part of being a mom. After my horrible experience with the Cry It Out Method, I have embraced a new mentality that has made me happier as a mom. It may fall under the "attachment parenting" category but I don't care. After writing my last blog post and after a night of listening to my precious angel cry himself to sleep, I had a breakdown. I cried for a couple hours and prayed for forgiveness. I know that might seem melodramatic but I sincerely felt like I had made a huge mistake and had done something terribly wrong. I decided that I would never restrain myself from comforting my son again. So I decided to do what feels right. Since then I have been mothering Maddy completely and totally according to his needs- I hold him if he wants to be held, I feed him if he wants to eat, I let him sleep with me if he wants to, etc. I honestly think that this is what works for us and makes us both the happiest. He knows that I am there for him to meet his needs and he can always trust that I will be there for him. Eventually, he will grow out of the night nursing thing and sleep through the night and eventually, he will be ready to sleep in his own room but for now, he needs to be close to his mom. On Saturday, we went to the Phoenix Zoo with Michelle and Loni and their kids. It was a lot of fun. When we went into the petting zoo area, we saw lots of goats walking around. Allan was holding Maddy and when he leaned down to let Maddy get closer to a goat, Maddy stuck out his lower lip and started crying. He was scared of the goat or something. It was so cute! So we left the petting zoo area and then he was fine. Anyway, a lot has happened and I feel like Maddy is progressing even faster now. He is starting to look like a little boy and not a baby anymore. He still doesn't have a ton of hair but it's growing and I brush it now. His eyes are still bright blue and he is still extremely thick and solid. He loves his saucer and sits on the floor and plays with his toys like a good little boy. He also still watches his Spanish cartoons: Dora La Exploradora and La Casa de Mickey. Maddox is the best baby and goes with me everywhere. I couldn't imagine life without him. He is my everything! I love him so much and am so thankful for his happy amd carefree personality. He is so easy to make smile and laugh. We are truly blessed to have Maddox as our son.

Sleep Training or Lack Thereof...

For the last week, Maddy has been having a rough time at nights. He was waking up almost every hour and wanting to nurse. And he only wanted to sleep in our bed. I finally got him to spread out his feedings but he has been screaming the second I lay him down in his own bed. So I decided to try the Cry It Out Method again but in intervals. It was really, really hard last night. I felt like a horrible mother. His capacity for crying has increased and he can cry louder and longer. I’m debating as to whether or not I should keep this up. I just feel so bad. He cried so much Saturday night that he was exhausted Sunday and slept for most of the day. And again last night- he is taking a really long nap right now probably trying to recover. I can’t help but think that he’s just a baby and wants to be near his mom and dad and feel our warmth and love. I think if he cries tonight, I will hold him and let him sleep with me. I love him so much and it breaks my heart to not be able to comfort him when he might be scared. I have been researching it online and there are lots of articles on both ends of the spectrum- those who say just let him cry and those who say he’ll grow out of it on his own. We’ll see what happens tonight but I set a goal when I became a mother: I never want Maddy to doubt my love for him. I want him to feel loved every second of every day. No matter what. And he is getting to an age where he is starting to understand that I am leaving the room and not there anymore. And he remembers things. I know that he still loves me and he is happy to see me in the mornings but I don’t want to take advantage of his innocence. One article I read said that I can’t just decide to stop being a mom at night because I want to sleep. And I agree. It made me realize how selfish I have been. If Maddy wants to nurse every hour then that’s what he needs and I should allow him to. I am his caretaker and this may be my only opportunity to nurse and raise my own baby. I want to value every moment I have with him. I think writing this has made me realize that I need to be more patient and less selfish.

Sweet Toothe

Maddy has gotten so much better at eating solids.  He loves his baby food now and can eat a 3 oz container in one sitting and still want more.  His favorite is Pears w/Cinnamon and Oatmeal.  He also likes his oatmeal cereal with apple juice and Peach Cobbler baby food and applesauce.  I have been giving him bites of my food and let him try carrots and chicken last night.  He seemed to like it. Maddy definitely prefers the sweet stuff and still has not acquired a taste for salt or non-sweet foods. And of course he loves ice cream! And anything sweet. He loves smoothies and always tries to drink out of my water bottle. He wants whatever Mommy and Daddy have.

San Diego

Maddy got to visit his grandparents in San Diego and had a great time. He met his Grandpa and his uncles and was such a good boy. He loves being around people and doesn’t seem to have “stranger danger.” He only fusses when he thinks he’s alone or when I leave the room. While in San Diego, we went for a walk at La Jolla Cove and went to the aquarium. He loved looking at the fish and the backlighted tanks. Maddox also got to try some new foods. Grandma fed him Rice Krispies and he seemed to like them. Maddy is still learning how to sit up on his own without falling over. I felt so bad because I was taking a picture of him and he leaned forward and hit his head on the ground. He cried and had a little red mark on his forehead. After that, we started putting pillows all around him to protect him from the hard floors. He was so happy and friendly and I was so glad my brothers and parents got to spend time with him. It was a lot of fun!